People talk a lot about the causes of declining birth rates, but it's really simple. People used to need enough kids to put on a touring Shakespeare production - maybe six, even eight. But with the rising popularity of Samuel Beckett? Two is sufficient.

Heavy rain falls from time to time

Advice to junior lawyers: this is how you should introduce yourself to new clients.

Ancient Egyptian Prayer Bot@egyptianprayerbot.bsky.social · 5d ago

I have come to remove the evil that is in your hearts. I have released the wickedness that attaches to you. I have brought you good, I have raised to you what is Right. I know you. (BDQ)

People don't realise that the ONLY way to make a faithful adaptation of a text with a Cyclops in it is to make it middlebrow.

Yeah I'm planning on making "rent" this month. My enemies "rent" limb from limb by the great forest apes!

BREAKING: Claude Fable discovers counterexample to Grecian Urn Conjecture by constructing an unbeautiful truth.

The five dimensions are Length, Breadth, Height, Time and Ape Time.

Lions, bears - my god - even great forest apes have attacked our outpost as of late.

I had the wealth of kingdoms but blew it all on components

You're offloading your cognitive functions to apps. I'm offloading my cognitive functions to apes.

I always love to see the most recent arguments in the battle between "Most people's material conditions are improving, therefore you shouldn't be miserable" and "I am miserable, therefore most people's material conditions aren't improving". Always enlightening.

We've run the calculations and the ideological cornerstone of Woke 2 will be ensuring that all depictions of dinosaurs have a bunch of feathers on them. The rest of the program follows more or less automatically.

Revolutionising the mining industry by inventing the B-triple freight Catbus that can carry 330 tonnes of lithium-bearing ores over roadless terrain. I have broken many laws of God and Man.

Yesterday I ate at a place where the menu glossed their signature dish as "Egyptian Burger". It delivered on this promise.

Everyone has opinions about the available translations of The Odyssey, yet no one will fund my project to translate The Odyssey into the Language of Smells as experienced in my patented Olfactory Chamber.

I'll accept an AI emperor but only once AI reaches AUW (Artificial Universal Wisdom) and responds to all questions and inputs with silence. Then we'll make policy decisions the appropriate way, by interpreting the silence through a massive bureaucracy.

3-year-old is just muttering "the sky will pretend to be alive" to himself repeatedly. So maybe watch out for that.

They should do an edition of Death in Venice with this as the cover

𝔻𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕥@thatsgoodweb.bsky.social · 3w ago

Frank Frazetta, Swamp God, 1965

If you're the kind of person who eats a lot of nuts and seeds, I can't recommend enough that you make black rice instead of white rice on every occasion you consider making white rice.

probably felt so good to be on the winning side of the internal religious conflict in Teotihuacan in the mid 4th century

It's developmentally important to give your baby toys that look like tiny cars and buildings so they can experiment with "Kaiju Play".

We don't do birthday parties for the kids, they're too young to really understand or care. We just have a little event each time one of them intuits a Noble Truth.

A Huge Nightmusic

What type of writing takes the place of formal verse in modern culture? Well, the forms of verse originated functionally to weave together streams of words to ensure that you could remember those things which must be remembered - or, to put it in the Latin, those things which are "memoranda".

I've probably sent a Perfect Email. But the thing about a Perfect Email is, it vanishes from your memory as soon as it's sent, because it so totally resolves the confusion you wrote it to address. The Perfect Email always appears to be in the future, an ever-receding mirage which is almost a memory.

"Polemical Correctness". Just imagine what that might mean. It's probably what's wrong with our society.

Kid saw a guy smoking a cigarette and he said "He's eating tape!" and I didn't want to explain about smoking so I just said yup. And now whenever he sees people smoking he says they're eating tape. Probably fine.

I've decided to have a perfect day.

Social media has its downsides, but it really does enable some amazing collective experiences. I can log on and see pictures from all around the world showing that all of our houses are being enveloped by the same mysterious fog, all at the same time. Truly we are one.

Just got a new notification on my phone: "Your nemesis has risen to the rank of Goosemaster." Doesn't look like I can disable it, system thing.