A jumanji-themed italian restaurant called “Jumangia”, is this worth anything?
Shout out to that one kid who yelled “present!” at roll call, mfer carried us through homeroom
Me, on a blind date with a pirate: Oh, you have a peg leg? That’s so interesting! Is it short for pegnelope?
castlevania? should be called castlefangia with all those vampires popping up
One Piece is basically the Odyssey but where everyone they meet is really fucking annoying
The thing about he-man is that he already had a nice castle, with no moss or ghosts on it, but then he’s like “no, I’m going to this other spooky ass castle with a bird lady and I’m gonna wear a harness”
2.5 hours into this christopher nolan movie and haven’t seen one fucking minivan yet
Pontiac Trans-Am is short for Pontiac Transgender-American. Not many people know that.
*turning to the camera as I shake out loose cereal from my shirt* “I guess you could say I…still have a few trix up my sleeve”
Helen Keller truthers explaining how Homer could have written the Odyssey
knights in white satin? bro you’re gonna need better protection than that
Fucked that there are a million songs about love but only one about baking me a cake as fast as you can
Posting a picture with today’s paper for proof of life is giving hostage
Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 3w agoMitch McConnell has released a photo and the first statement on his condition: "I was briefly unconscious and was taken to the hospital. While receiving excellent care over the past several weeks, I’ve also had to deal with a mild case of pneumonia."
Waiting for confirmation on something before I start chanting “Rule of three! Rule of three!”
I just had a 20 minute phone call with Lindsey Graham and he said he likes the ladies in a normal, sexy way
I met up with Mitch McConnell today and we beatboxed for twenty minutes.
Sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like if they weren’t being constantly disrupted and capriciously constrained by the dumbest people who have ever lived
Honestly the whole thing makes me question the integrity of the FIFA Peace Prize
I didn’t know this was about mitch mcconnell when I wrote it
Giraud, basically@giraud.bsky.social · last mo.i bet the guy who played bernie in weekend at bernie’s was like so i just wear these cool sunglasses and these guys carry me everywhere? this fucking rules
Ok but for real tho, this isn’t the empire state building unless that boat is in the bryant park fountain
Marcel Proust was the Joey Chestnut of his era
ceej@ceej.online · last mo.I could probably eat ten, twenty madeleines without thinking
