wednesdays are when the week starts to curdle

i dreamt someone had sharks under their floorboards. it wasn’t safe don’t do it

The people of Wongo would have worshiped Baby Gator as a god. But alas it was never meant to be.

one snoorpt is never enough

i wanna give a big shoutout to the difference between things

sex is when u fuck

getting dumped by my boyfriend because i refused to add Robbie Williams's 🅁🅄🄳🄴🄱🄾🅇 to the sex playlist

who wants to get juxtaposed?

Burger

moving like somebody with no ancestral supervision

𝐊𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐊𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐡 𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚-𝐆𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 & 𝐕𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐫 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 One year later... 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝘽𝙀𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙄𝙊𝙍 are BACK, with special guest 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 O͢n͢e͢ n͢i͢g͢h͢t͢ o͢n͢l͢y͢, O͢c͢t͢o͢b͢e͢r͢ 1͢9͢t͢h͢ a͢t͢ ᴄᴀᴠᴇʀɴ xᴀɴᴛʜᴏᴍᴏɴᴀꜱ.

all day i dream about stairschud

i keep a sealed envelope containing “that good dust” which i refuse to discuss. luxury is about refusing to clarify

doing noun declension on regis philbin

I was blocked earlier today by someone with a dog pfp and I just want to say that blocking me won't make those dog eggs any more likely to be wolf eggs.

some nouns are load bearing and i think we all know which ones

thinking bout wildebeasts an babloons rn

i learned how to piss at a very young age

tell the Soft Chancellor i have the marmalade and am prepared to negotiate

so anyway i googled “big hat”

and, as always, the normal amount of horny for the normal kinda stuff

put your wings in my mouth

a nocturnal crime

drawings of men with faithful hands

i am a fang in a mouth. i have no name

is that an ogg in your vorbis or are you just happy to see me?

sky’s gone funny

chinese car ad in my weather app. levers pulled to make me want cars, to make me chinese. slowing my telephones warm brain chinese car ad in my weather app. i wanted to read of little winds, to dream forth of sleeping days that haven't yet been. full screen burger ad

putting grandpa in a home = 😓 installing grandpa at the Geriatric Playboy Nightclub = 😁

what’s the sun’s @? i have a grievance of a private nature