if you need into the bathroom go now before i get into my bath ok

Classics professor Emily Wilson has published a 15,000 word review tearing Nintendo a new hole for including a jump button in Ocarina of Time. "I am going to kill you in real life," she threatens over forty times.

snapped off a dry stem and shook a bunch of foxglove seeds all around places to see if they’ll grow they’re so tiny they scatter out like glitter or fairy dust 😌

somehow in my job i won’t get paid if i sit out in the autumny sun and drink some tea which is obviously crazy

sitting crosslegged on the sofa with a big bowl of chopped salad vaguely balanced on one of my knees the bowl is wobbling while i eat it wants to leave but i shall not hold it and i shall not flinch

No one is coming to save you. However, someone is coming to stand in front of what you want to look at in the grocery store

big hedge at night

balancing things precariously for the rush

hold it

Peppermint the elf (#2 in Santa's workshop) has died of west nile virus

one panko breadcrumb for me one panko breadcrumb for you,

hold it

if you’ve ever trimmed bits off of your cuticles with one of those dangerous little snippers then you and me can be in a club together

i do know what goku looks like

i like the sharpness of fizzy water it scours your throat good

i’ve got a whistly kettle so i can pretend i’m camping every time i boil some water

i can hear a train going hoothonk from across the dark miles

monday’s to do list train my four cats to stack themselves together into one bigger cat and teach it how to drive the car

Instead of doing anything I like to just immediately crumple to the floor like a dropped puppet

I’m not interested in that. I’m not interested in that. Show me less of that. That sort of thing doesn’t interest me. I’m not interested in that. No thanks. I’m not interested in that.

enhonse

Jeff’s Kiss 👨🏻👌🏻

i am suspicious of scottish villages with bunting why do you have colourful bunting what is it for you live in the cold lands are you royalists

saw a chopped off salmon head left in the river i went to today which i guess was from poachers dunno how i feel about that i don’t think the fish should belong to any one person so go ahead and steal them but are the poaching rules about fish breeding seasons or something i have no idea

funguses i met today

river animal

fungle is massive

@chompmancobra.bsky.social i saw keds and i did not like them at all but at least i knew what they were thanks to you

the thing is if i get invited to your wedding reception as somebody’s plus one i might just not go who even are you. have a nice day though

dreamed up a ferret that came undone in the middle for if you temporarily needed a shorter pet