Hey, is this the line to kick the shit out of Jonah Hill?

Thrown out of another Arby's. I know the speakeasy is back there. Just let me the fuck in.

Okay everyone is understandably mad at the devs, but are we going to have to do that thing where we all go over to Mastodon again?

Accident closed an intersection, so I had to go completely out of my way to pick up my lunch. Really feel like I'm closer to understanding what they went through in the Odyssey now.

🌳🔥🌡🌤

New setting for white noise sleep machine: Data Center Burning

What are we going to do next year when there is no baseball 😑

How do you cross that line from weird to eccentric?

💰🔗🗣💱

Corey Taylor Farms

me, at 7 am in the breakroom: "yeah, so anyway I just think the second you have a billion dollars a switch in your brainstem should get shut off"

They're going to finally give us a Mitch McConnell video and it's just going to be a Jib-Jab

What if they made a movie without Jared Leto in it?

Putting a team of Dino-Riders together to go blow up data centers. Serious inquiries only

Jared Leto Clarifies He’s Studying for His Next Role Where He Plays a Pedophile Named Jared Leto thehardtimes.net/breaking/jar...

Jared Leto Clarifies He’s Studying for His Next Role Where He Plays a Pedophile Named Jared Leto

A new documentary is alleging that actor-musician Jared Leto has engaged in a disturbing pattern of grooming and sexually assaulting teenage girls... Continue this tale

thehardtimes.net

hello sharks i am seeking 10k so i can just vibe for a little bit

What you look like on the self checkout camera

Gumby Screens@gumbyscreens.bsky.social · 5d ago

Ok when you hit ❤️ on this shitpost it's just going ask you a quick question

Why don't we all call in mitch tomorrow for work?

They should invent a podcast where you don't want to murder everyone after two episodes

Responding to work emails with "seems like AI slop"

Culture Crave 🍿@culturecrave.co · 6d ago

AI slop has gotten so bad on Linkedin that they’ve added a ‘Seems like AI slop’ button

an ice cream cone is my favorite time-sensitive project

Hot Frosty 2: Wicker Boogaloo

Every Film Now@everyfilmnow.bsky.social · 6d ago

First look at Alexander Skarsgård as the wicker husband in ‘WICKER’. The film follows a lonely fisherwoman who asks a local basket maker to weave her the perfect husband out of wicker. #Wicker #AlexanderSkarsgård

Yanks on the road in extra innings? Time to shit the bed

Jeopardy should try to go one day without a Shakespeare category

Adding Mitch McConnell security detail coordinator to my resume right under Spirit Airlines pilot. Call Mitch as my reference.

The SAVE act is going to be about to fail and then Mitch McConnell's theme song is going to start blasting and he's going to come up through the floor

I love pirating an out of market baseball game and getting insane commercials

In Terminator, they had those badass guards with the dogs that could sniff out the robots. And here I am looking for semicolons in someone's email to see if they had an AI write it for them