Matthew Burlew

@matthewburlew.bsky.social

I have a friend who bought two tickets for the 2026 World Cup Final on July 19, 2026. The idiot didn’t realize that he’s getting married on the same day. If anyone wants to go in his place, it’s at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, New York. The bride’s name is Mary, everything has already been paid for.

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There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.