suspiciously green bananas is sadly one of the funniest things i’ve read in awhile

I'm active, up at weird hours, and extremely annoying, so I'd definitely be the cuckoo in the cuckoo clock.

If you’re in line to homer off the Mariners tonight, stay in line!

Tonight we find out whether Michigan voters are bluesky posters or bluesky replyers

Our run club group chat was all about the Seattle smoke today. I learned I'm a much bigger weenie about AQI than the rest of them. My lungs are more delicate than Jed Lowrie in a Mets uniform.

I just walked to the apartment complex's treadmill, and I coughed up three organs.

BREAKING: The Los Angeles Dodgers have acquired the Cincinnati Reds and assigned them to AAA Oklahoma City.

This is how tiny that town is. I know this guy. He's my ex's friend. Kind of a sweet stoner guy when I knew him. Definitely no one I would have expected to go Rambo.

Guardian US@us.theguardian.com · 3d ago

Police credited Jordan Salinas with limiting number of victims in attack on restaurant in Twin Falls, Idaho

Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race

I just visited an NHS resource page on binge eating, and the first thing it asked me was if I wanted to accept cookies.

Photos for @apnews.com. Old Trails Fire, 8/1/26 in Spokane, WA. 1) People watch from W. Northwest Blvd. 2) Andrew Rowley, who evacuated, watches from 3) Dwight Merkel Sports Complex. 4) Police block W. Francis Ave. at N. Monroe St. as vehicles leave evacuation area. apnews.com/article/wild...

"The secret to a long-lasting marriage? Cultivate many of the same dislikes." More important marriage wisdom - and Kiké Hernández updates - can be found in Phil's entertaining newsletter.

Philip Michaels@philipmichaels.bsky.social · last wk.

New week, new newsletter, same non-existent price. Everyone's hitting the road, including your faithful correspondent: get-your-phil-newsletter-ccdfef.beehiiv.com/p/get-your-p...

"Monica Opfer lives near Indian Trail Elementary school. She watched as the fire spread closer and closer to her home, so close she could feel the heat from the flames. She grabbed her dog, Mabel, and her medication. "'I think I lost my home,' she said." www.spokesman.com/stories/2026...

'When the sun rises, we are going to be in shock': Thousands evacuated in north Spokane as wildfire crosses river into city

Walls of flames destroyed dozens of homes and other structures in the Indian Trail Neighborhood and other areas in Spokane on Saturday evening amid one of the worst natural disasters in the city's his...

spokesman.com

This is my personal Sistine Chapel. Photo from my collection, no date/info.

my afternoon google of "big pussy" turned up some sad results today

thought fishlock's injury was gonna end her season and possibly career, lmao nope she subbed in to make her return in the 84th minute and scored in the 85th

This might sound elitist, but I don’t think the people liking the Peanuts slop posts should have rights

Barbara Longley Author (no DMs) 📎@blongley.bsky.social · 6d ago

Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family

Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to support his children as they attempted to distance themselves from their difficult upbringing, actor Brad Pitt announced on Monday that he was dropping his surname in solid...

theonion.com

Someone at the @oaklandballers.bsky.social game is dressed like a Rockford Peach #WPBL

As part of my newsletter research, I also uncovered this important entry in the Hawai'i Department of Land and Natural Resources shark incident list.

Michelle Milliken@michelleym.bsky.social · 4d ago

As Shark Week wraps, I'm sharing this important and minimally harrowing tale from my youth in Hawai'i. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-was-near...

As Shark Week wraps, I'm sharing this important and minimally harrowing tale from my youth in Hawai'i. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-was-near...

I Was Nearly a Shark Week Story

Don't underestimate a bloody tooth

michellemilliken.substack.com

"Japanese leagues will always bunt." If that's not a reason to tune in, I don't know what is. Fun listen with info on the ballpark experience, how welcoming Japanese fans can be, and the economics associated with it.

Aaron Cameron@thatbootlegguy.bsky.social · last wk.

🚨NEW EPISODE of The Fancestor feat. @gabelerman.bsky.social on NPB and Japanese baseball fandom! •Foreign players welcome? •The posting process •Pitchers still hit! •Ballad of Mr. Baseball •Japan 🤝 Cuba •Gambling creep •Tips for fans visiting NPB ballparks podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

Embarrassingly late to the party on this one. My wonderful friend @michelleym.bsky.social had me in suspense up to the penultimate paragraph. I cackled so loud at my dude doing his own "Costco receipt check". Ol' Kirkland lothario lol open.substack.com/pub/michelle...

I Accidentally Seduced a Costco Member

No one can help being irresistible around bulk foods

open.substack.com

A former coworker says his dad is among those injured. So. Sick. Of. This. Shit. www.kmvt.com/2026/08/02/t...

Twin Falls community left reeling after In-N-Out shooting

Around 3 p.m. Saturday, an active shooter was reported at the Twin Falls In-N-Out.

kmvt.com

I wrote about baseball way too much in my latest Silliest Gooses in Sports, but the Kraken made me go to an MLB game last week. It's their fault. sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/this-weeks...

This Week's Silliest Gooses in Sports, Jul 26

Candy payments, corny answers, and bug attacks on broadcasters

sillygooseboxscores.substack.com

“Transparency is a very interesting word,” [Governor Jeff Landry] said. “Because what we’ve seen is people have used the word transparency to basically kill deals like this.” Well, as long as they kept residents in the dark for the sake of the deal!

Brian Lyman@brianlyman.bsky.social · last wk.

A lot of what-the-hell moments in this story, but building a data center in a floodplain in Louisiana is inviting the wrath of Poseidon.

I'm working on a late Silly Goose Box Scores, and I thought you all should see this picture of Denard Span reacting to a bug:

I've had interviews with five of the last 10 jobs for which I've applied. I mean, I obviously won't get any of them, but it's been nice to be included.

Saw a patient who was 46 years old and I checked their birthdate and it was 1980 and I thought “that can’t be right” Fuck.

Tmnt Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Alt: Me right now

static.klipy.com