just want to share my favorite video on here

retail workers dont say thank you anymore they just hit you with this

drafts cleared i'm going fuck it mode

muslim computer engineers be like installah they defrag him

dramatic actor doing a tearful scene: fuck it, we bawl professional seafood chef: fuck it, we boil the german indie filmmaker known for bad movies and humiliating Lowtax: fuck it, 'we Boll

I'm making Bright Souls and Unprotected Core at my new studio To Software

Pharrell Williams: It might seem crazy what im 'bout to say His therapist: O- O- O- O-kay let's unpack that

In Celebration of the reveal trailer for Avengers: Doomsday, traffic lights have been changed to Doctor Doom Green (Source: tinyurl.com/wvyb4z57)

completing the RE9 4-hour speedrun achievement

Losing my mind at this Murder, She Wrote promo

“Break Stuff” but Fred Durst is made of antimatter

mouse logging their cheese into cheddarboxd

Fucking heavily with Marathon which I didn't expect. Narsh runs are terrifying and give me Lab X-18 jitters all over again

It's time to make a bowel movement! *Arrow Transition* The land of Toiletria needs a new hero! Rush to the bathroom in this exciting new way to experience the act of defecation! Clench! Push and Strain to give release your bowels. Shit launches out of my ass later today

some jokes write themselves

tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵@caranthirs.bsky.social · 5mo ago

baseball is always some guy who is a physically perfect specimen being guided day and night by world class trainers, nutritionists, and doctors hoping to beat a record set by some guy named Pickles Bitch in 1937 who lived on cigarettes and moonshine and did not exercise other than baseball games

Learned that this tweet is uttered verbatim by Lego Alfred in the new Lego Batman game

Konni J@spliffdonk.bsky.social · 5mo ago

Timeline is popping right now

always weak for one of these

In this limp bizkit universe I'm nothing but a speck of durst

Archiving thread of my favorite tweets celebrities made

meet my bub

Richard Gear and Great Cable

I hate having to make this post, but we had a car accident over the weekend. We're having to eat the cost of repairs, and we got screwed on getting a rental so we're having to use Uber so my wife can get to work ($100/day). #mutualaid If you can, please help us make things a little more affordable:

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Hollywood is COOKED I made this $50,000,000 movie for free using AI

Making up american country music lyrics about essentially nothing is the funniest to riff on to yourself in private. So you could imagine my face when Kid Rock comes on during the halftime show and sings about kissing fish and driving trucks and drinking beer all prefaced with "I jus' wannuh" lmfaoo