The county I reside in is still starkly alt-right or adjacent. Still blame democrats for everything. Even moderates will vote right out of tradition. There were no competing candidates for any county office up for reelection. At least I had a voice in some statewide and federal issues.

Just had a thought that scars on an #expie from #casualtiesunknown can have a sort of kintsugi artistic effect. The way their burnt-orange flesh contrasts with their black fur. They are mended in gold.

I think I should take a break this week. Uber on top of a full time job. I'm feeling pretty drained for a Monday.

I took this screenshot earlier in the year from the casualties unknown Discord server. It has remained relevant ever since. Featured art by @zhodholm.bsky.social #casualtiesunknown #scavprototype #gunsaw

I don't often ask myself "why me?" When I'm dealing with the effects of my trauma. What's done is done and self pity doesn't help me heal all that much. But after four hours of sleep and an exhausted body that refuses to get more because of flight or fight, I can feel downright pitiful.

Person at the county clerks office looked at me like I kicked their puppy when I handed in my voter registration. Could be because I nearly waited until the last minute while they're already swamped with work. That's the charitable interpretation anyway.

I keep finding new ways that low self-worth affects my life in little ways. I wonder just how many jobs I never applied for because I felt like I wasn't qualified, yet would have been perfectly suited for. An estimate on your own abilities is compromised.

I'm not exactly against automation on its face, but not providing a means for people to exist when they've been shoved out of the job is my main concern. I'm not against the idea of food delivery robots. But all the baggage surrounding their current existence should not be ignored.

I'm mostly better now. Post viral cough almost cleared up. I've been using my returning energy to drive for Uber cus electric car and I got close to being flat broke before payday. I've already got about $100 in accepted reservations tomorrow. The catch is I need to be awake at 3AM. Goodnight.

Around when I thought I was done being sick, I get hit with a doozy of an upper respiratory viral infection. Became symptomatic Sunday night and we're too understaffed for me to take sick leave without attracting the ire of the management. Been a hellish couple of days. (Kn95 mask on around people)

In case people don't understand why I'm concerned about a little bit of dust in my lungs. I'm not a fan of even trace amounts of uranium in them. attheu.utah.edu/research/tox...

Toxins from Great Salt Lake dust are absorbed by plants, soils and human bodies - @theU

USU-led research supported by U geochemist finds lake’s exposed playa can threaten human health in new ways.

attheu.utah.edu

My health has improved alongside my energy levels after wearing a kn95 mask at work and anytime I've gone outside. Great results to have. Horrible implications for the air around here. I need to get out of this county. The people staring at me doesn't do much to dissuade this desire.

Ten years ago or so,there was a book I came across at thrift titled The Secret Strength of Depression. I never read it cover to cover, but I did skim a few chapters. It has one on medication that seemed to address my reservations towards the idea of taking antidepressants. It helped me overcome that

Thank you for reminding me, cartoon coyote

There is no commitee, governing body, or universal power that determines wether your work is enough. The expectations are largely internal. A reflection more of insecurities than defined quality. The drive to improve can be a good thing, but don't let invisible expectations weigh down your soul.

𝐬𝐇𝐲𝐞𝐧𝐚@shyena.dog · 2mo ago

-tippy taps sign-

My symptoms have improved, but I still have symptoms. The docs are bumping me up to augmentin. I hope I'll be more active after I'm feeling better.

Trevor Rain@trevorrain.bsky.social · 2mo ago

It's been a nearly routine part of my life where I finally get the steam, the motivation to fight and do the things I feel will improve my life. Then I get sick and I'm back to square one. So here I am, three days into a bottle of amoxicillin...

I finally got around to posting on the alt account. This is where I'll be more openly reblogging art and sharing what encouragement I can! @willowisp-illustration.com has an amazing talent for vector art and a hungry commission queue. Professional work. Go buy a dragon from her!

Firetyde@firetyde.bsky.social · 2mo ago

For my first feature, we have the incredible artist who came up with the profile art for this account. An artist who also happens to be a friend of mine at whom I was happy to be able to support and what little way I can. She's a full time artist, go commission! @willowisp-illustration.com

It's been a nearly routine part of my life where I finally get the steam, the motivation to fight and do the things I feel will improve my life. Then I get sick and I'm back to square one. So here I am, three days into a bottle of amoxicillin...

Volumetric retention.

I reblog stuff from Patrick because the guy seems to be able to put into words lessons that were hard fought and won through my own journey through recovery. Sometimes it seems better to do that than leave things silent. To succeed: Loving yourself is not optional. Compassion is not optional.

Self compassion is not "nice to have" in realistic trauma recovery, or an abstract, aspirational idea-- it is a fundamental tool. The beliefs & attitudinal lens through which we understand & respond to ourselves affects all our feelings & decisions. It matters.

Haven't been as active because of a dumb illness. I might be more active in the future because a new med seems to allow me to function reliably like a normal human for the first time in my life. We shall see.

In realistic trauma recovery we commit to not treating ourselves like garbage-- because that's what abusers do, treat people like garbage. If we're serious about not being them, we have to extend that compassion & respect to the person we're in a 24/7/365 relationship with.

Something I've been meaning to say: I'm again the use of LLMs (AI) In creative works. I will not endorse its use in art, be it visual mediums, music, video games, voicework, and overall content creation. I want to connect with people. Not slop. If I post anything with A.I. call me out. Mistake.

I might as well post the pizza I got today. Going off a recommendation, I got a white garlic pizza sauce with jalapenos and Philly cheesesteak. Not pictured is a can of pineapple so I could save money on the topping and keep it optional. Pretty good. Local place.

I like cheerleading people's creativity, but I seem to be energized when it's someone who doesn't have a following yet. I like the art and share it, I don't feel compelled to comment on something that already has a hundred comments. Talented artist with zero comments and five followers? I dive in.

Tunic likely shares the same awkward fate as Outer Wilds as a wonderful game with some delightfully subversive mechanics where a single errant spoiler can ruin the experience of a lifetime. Trust & WoM has to be essential since it's basically "I can't tell you anything about this. but play it!"

I feel like I owe much of my emotional growth to music. Songs about pain, love, death. Songs about making mistakes, making them again. They all gave me new emotions to chew on and consider. They're also the songs that helped me to put words to how I was feeling. Growth by proxy. 1/2

I don't normally tell very many people, or anyone really, when I'm going through a rough time. Though I've made progress on my own recovery, bad days can often. Telling people I'm feeling crummy for the hundredth time seems like a broken record, and I feel worse when it seems like they're ignored.