look, i understand that neither i, nor my family, want me to be the one tranny at the big muslim wedding, but it still would have been nice to be invited as a courtesy by literally any member of the entire extended family that is attending quite sad about it

whenever i encounter one of those amazon supermodel type trans women, i feel like some kind of barely alive pug dog meeting a wolf

i need to get curvier, and thicker, but i also need to get skinnier and more fit, but i also need to get sluttier and more brash, but i also need to get more femme and demure, but i also need to grow tf up, but i also need to get more in touch with my inner child, but i also n—

everytime i'm vibing to a reggae song, i think about how i'm exactly the kind of alienated, white-passing, halfrican who could be one-shotted into being a doing-too-much rasta, if not for the fact haile selassie bombed my dad's village when he was a kid

woman of childhood bowl cut + rattail experience

the only recreational drugs I use? peace & love

apparently, in the new sbux points system, if the store closes at 8, and you're scheduled to clean till 10, but you get your work done early and leave at 930, that's considered job abandonment, and nets you 3 points towards the 12 that'll get you fired. neat!!

the moon's really doing her thing tonight, like damn girl, okay

i get hasan is wearing the suit to appeal to middle america, but i can't help but be alienated by it. i am "suits, and the culture they represent, are the enemy" socialized, and i can't undo it

the appeal of going out is multiplied manyfold by getting to hang on to your girlfriend like you're her favorite accessory

just going from my place to the corner store a block over, i got a couple across the street whispering "that's a man" at eachother, then seconds later an old guy flags me over, and tries to get my number. i'll never regret transition, but this shit is a monkey paw wish so often

made like 20 trans women watch The Warriors with me last night, and the sounds of joy they all made when ajax spoke the first "faggot" of the runtime will live in my heart forever

Q: why do i keep flirting with this guy i already went out with and ultimately turned down? A: just cause i don't want him don't mean i want him to stop being obsessed

the number of problems in my life that ultimately come down to both the fear of making a phone call, and not wanting to fit something in my schedule, is frankly embarrassing

motormouth coworker is singing day-o as he cleans, and it's a little too on the nose for me

while i acknowledge i'm living a fairytale romance, i'm eager to get to the part of the tale where one or the other of us finds out we're secretly filthy rich royalty. it'll be hard being both happy *and* poor ever after

people really out here navigating relationships with rules they absorbed from sitcoms. friend, they engineer those character arcs so that no significant growth ever impedes the epsiode reset loop

thinking, jealously, about how warm and snug it must be to be a worm in a girl's heart

that thick chinese lady with the longboard is my favorite thing about the internet nowadays

both exhilarating and heartbreaking to discover i am currently hotter than a trans porn actress i used to idolize in my youth

culturally and statistically speaking, i should have met at least one trans woman named boxxy by now

"Sports Package" sounds like a segment on a gay sports news channel where they do a slowmo montage of athletes' junk jiggling as they run

coworker: so i was at home, marinating my swordfish— me: lol, i've marinated some sword fish in my time 😏 coworker: i never know what the fuck you're talking about

just finished moving all the furniture around in my bedroom to accomadate my gf's stuff. if a girl thinks her stuff is too big to fit, let no one say i can't make room 😉

i have the constitution of an erudite but indolent whore. how the hell did i manage to spend eight years chained to an espresso bar? it's killing me

keeping my no loads refused party trans inclusive by adding a NOTAFLOL clause (no one turned away for lack of loads)

everyone should be allowed to have a unique idle animation, but we are socially pressured to just be chill instead

BREAKING: Sen. Mitch McConnell hospitalized due to "stuck in a goon loop" and "jelqing his little egg roll limp"

very cool how doing a bunch of psychedelics in your 20s makes it so that, for the rest of your life, any repeating patterned surface in eyeshot could just suddenly start to flow like a river

being a tranny with the kind of rolling veins where multiple nurses gotta take turns for 20 minutes sticking needles in you and sighing "oh my god" after each failure is a curse