becoming fabulously wealthy by investing in the little dignity blankets they throw over prototype robots when they fuck up at a demo
Dr. Worm
@williamdaw.bsky.social
trapped my sleeve in the outside of the train door but posting through it
(George Costanza voice) I’m getting verklempt!! I got weltschmerz!!!
unfollowed like a dozen people for banging on about air conditioning yesterday and you know what it has cooled me down
Listening to my podcasts at 0.9 x speed so they last longer
Accidentally out and about wearing my bin shoes (special disgusting shoes only for taking bins out)
(Narrator Tidus) I had forgotten it was also possible to be uncomfortable from being too warm
singing Bohemian Rhapsody in its entirety to my long-suffering wife
(Tune of King of Carrot Flowers pt II) I love my chungus life
<annoying nasal voice> if you don’t like the changes we have made, the door is there. Please come back.
seeing a physio tomorrow. Hope they're already starting on the run up for a corrective dropkick
We are investigating an incident with service in one of our reginos status.bsky.app
Writing a third-person artists bio that ends with the sentence "He is a normal amount horny"
An account you control, @PagliacciDaClown, has been suspended for the following post: "Who up doing clown shit, lmao? I'm thinking about ending my own life." Our moderation policies aim to encourage healthy discourse. For an example of a user we think exemplifies this spirit, see @PagliacciDaClown
Here at the zoo we don't call them "cages". That's an Ape Hole
Current brainworm: Tom Waits singing "happy birthday to you"
Just invented a new quick dinner I am calling "prison nachos"