Me at 9am after drinking 3 cups of coffee: i am a task warrior. There is nothing in this world that can defeat me, no amount of laundry or dishes shall conquer me, for I am the hammer of god Me at 5pm, turning off my work PC: i am a golem built out of failure. I am ashes in the mouth of the world

I know a lot about toilets (ive seen thousands) and let me just say, you dont need a cadillac to have a satisfying experience. The American Standard base-mounted vitreous china unit with a 1.6 gallon flush simply cant be beat. Truly the Corolla of cans. Put 300k miles on it and shes hungry for more

Ive added another wallet to my catalog! This is the Frontman Jr, a 6-pocket vertical wallet designed for front / jacket pocket carry. This little firecracker can hold 8-10 cards + folded bills Customize your own today! All hand made to order! boiledowlleathergoods.com/products/the...

current discourse feels like

There has literally never been a better time to cancel your EA play subscription! If you have one. For some reason. We thought EA was bad for the last 20 years. Theyre about to go fucking nuclear.

Been hard on the ramen lately and ive been getting perverted about it. Todays crime is 2x spicy buldak, slice of american cheese, 2 crispy fried eggs, and a bunch of montreal smoked deli meat

Knuckle tats: HOBBIES INTERESTS

sometimes all we can do is keep putting one hand in front of the other. do not despair. rather, hope all things. kierkegaard

Ordering two 150lb dumbbells online bc Im in a fight with my mailman

it is wednesneigh my dudes

Eating a big bucket of ramen and beef at 1:42AM and going immediately to bed. Its impossible to explain why i feel like shit. Probably the economy. Gas prices. Things of that nature

Do people who work in private equity know theyre terrible people? Do they wake up every day and think 'yeah im a fucking literal parasite on this earth but thats fine im cool with it'.

yea man i'd love to drive 5 hours to visit you, my only friend without kids. i'd love to take a shower in your gray bathroom and dry off with amazon basics towels. then can we go to a mexican restaurant run by white people? can your girlfriend come? can you two get in a fight 10 mins before i arrive

Funny thread. I still think about this guy sometimes

Truckstop Vigilante@brenthor.bsky.social · 2y ago

Like a decade ago(?) i worked with a dude who only ate solent type shit. It wasnt soylent but every day he only drank water/coffee and only ate two big smoothies of his homemade nutrient swill. So we go to this mandatory dinner w/out CEO and he brings one. Our boss was like 'No you have to eat food'

My scheming vizier: the machine is right, your highness. You herald your dick most prolifically. The people know it well. But your balls? Well, there are whispers

Should i post more about my balls or my dick? Great question, and one most wouldnt think to ask. Theres no question that your dick is a powerful force, hailed by many as 'more important than christ', but people know next to nothing about your balls. Let me help you find them a canvas.

Marmalade Update: marmo was in the kitchen howling and i came in to see this

Oh my god I think I found the video.

CSketch@csketch.bsky.social · yesterday

“Yo, who wants to play a party game?” I ask, slamming the dsm-5 on the kitchen table. The first one to get kinda defensive loses.

Sorry for pumping my leather goods so much its just that im a greedy capitalist pigdog. Im just kidding i just like making wallets for people. Buy one or go to hell. Im just kidding again.

Another pride wallet going out this week! Its got the marmalade seal of approval

New crop of orders going out with week. Here I've got a Min/Max 4-Pocket Mini Bifold, and a custom pride wallet aubergine maremma and green thread. Full product details in alt text. Some really great colour choices here. You can customize your own on my website!

The Mugshot, a 4-Pocket Vertical card wallet. 2 card pockets, 1 window card pocket, 1 main pocket down the long side for cash. Note that I dont put any plastic sheeting in the window. Dont need it, and will fail before the leather. Customize your own here: boiledowlleathergoods.com/products/mug...

Hey babe, I yearn to be tempered in the crucible of your desire. Just thought you should know

Big thanks to @thewalrus.ca for reprinting my takedown of Tim Hortons Canada's new Harry Potter collab ✨ "No one wants this. Even the people who haven’t given up Harry Potter—none of them were banging down Tim Hortons’ door specifically to demand this." thewalrus.ca/nobody-asked...

Nobody Asked for Harry Potter Donuts | The Walrus

The new Tim Hortons collaboration will only fuel J. K. Rowling’s anti-trans crusade

thewalrus.ca

A tuesday that masquerades as a monday is know as The Bastard's Tuesday, and it fucking sucks.

I keep getting targeted ads for lesbian cruises. I choose to take this as a compliment.