suspiciously green bananas is sadly one of the funniest things i’ve read in awhile

Ru Paul

@haleystevens I can secure you the Michigan senate democratic nomination but I’ll need three sparrows’ hearts and a quart of dog urine to do it

watching a man drown in the Hudson but doing nothing because a tik tok told me it was rude to make eye contact with new yorkers

watching a man drown in the Hudson but doing nothing because a tik tok told me it was rude to make eye contact with new yorkers

call your local farmer and apologize to her. That’s right. Women can toil in the sun and get sued by Monsanto, too.

two thousand pigeons gained human-level intelligence last weekend but you probably didn’t know that because the liberal fake news media wants you to focus on the Michigan senate race

being 26 will have you saying shit like bro you gotta start freezing your rice

faggot is gender neutral

That's impossible. He exploded in his car weeks ago.

FOX8 WGHP@myfox8.com · last wk.

Alex Jones calls for immediate Trump impeachment

This hearing is driven entirely by Elon Musk's algorithm. Not a single normie voter alive today has thought about Anthony Fauci for at least five years. On X this is a pressing issue - maybe the pressing issue - of the day. It doesn't matter at all.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.

Moreno to Fauci: "Who the fuck did you think you were?"

I’m getting deconstructed tomorrow they’re gonna pull apart my themes and concepts

the second shot is the abortion

every man has two viriginites; one he loses when he first entwines himself truly in a lover. the second he loses doing the same thing at the new york transit museum

God I wish I could do this

beef boy@beefboy.bsky.social · last wk.

lose your virginity at the New York Transit Museum, White boy

Tongue stuff with guns is your Constitutional Right. It's in there, towards the back I think.

lose your virginity at the New York Transit Museum, White boy

what's a good post to misinterpret and get mad about for beginners

really sick of these lazy fucking people demanding other people online do their research for them. use the search bar. it’s not hard.

mr. cannoli@boner.ink · last wk.

what's a good post to misinterpret and get mad about for beginners

being a billionaire and on the internet all day is crazy to me. if i had even five million dollars, you would not find me online whatsoever.

#dontkillyourself

the covid vaccine made me pregnant by the way

putting a gun in my mouth, pulling the trigger, and catching the bullet in my mouth, but then trying to swallow it and choking to death

the left’s primary goal for 2028 should be getting Elon Musk to do a Budd Dwyer-style press conference

even if bluesky is an echo chamber it seems more important that X is run by a guy pushing race war but that’s why i’m not an op-ed editor i guess

doing freak shit to the gun. tongue down the barrel, slurping up from the handle. teasing the trigger.

One like I tell my ex to kill himself

we have sinne-d and must do penne-ance

tube is not a normal food shape. hot dog. pringle. these are not god's plan for humanity.