ColdChef

@coldchef.bsky.social

Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Putting the "wheee" in "ennui."

“Ted Lasso” is back for some reason. It’s a show I love that was complete. I’ve watched the first episode and I’m not sure they justified the return. But maybe I’ll reconsider if Isaac returns.

Two movie day! Just got out of “Hadestown” and about to start “Spider-Man: So Many Details To Remember.” Follow me on Letterboxd for my brilliant insights.

My daughter in Boston waited until August to rent a moving truck at the end of the month. You know, moving on the same day that every other student in the city is moving? Luckily, I wouldn’t worry. Boston’s not a big college town. #spinaltap

I was walking through the church telling people we’d be starting the funeral in about five minutes, so they should take their seats and one of the young women responded, “Thank you, five.”

I work at a public library. People who want to use AI seem to have no trouble doing so. People who don't want to use AI have a harder time. I crowdsourced and then finalized this document "How to disable or avoid intrusive AI" and then gave it a short URL: notoai.org Please pass along if it's useful

An aircraft passenger oxygen mask: a drop down passenger mask with air bag and yellow plastic mouth and nose cover, oxygen tube has been cut; Demonstration model used by flight attendant crew for passenger instruction. Has text on the side indicating that it's non-functional.

Ordered some stamps from the US Postal Service. After fifteen days, they still haven’t arrived. When I check my online order, it says I “don’t have permission” to view my order. I called the help line. Turns out their computers were down for FOUR DAYS and they’re just catching up. What the hell.

It’s a new question that dominates our age of inquiry. What is wrong with men? What is wrong with them?Something surely has to be wrong with them, I mean, look at them! What on earth are they doing? Why in the world are they doing it? Is someone going to do something about this, for the love of god?

Now, it’s a new question that dominates our age of inquiry. What is wrong with men? What is wrong with them?! Something surely has to be wrong with them, I mean, look at them! What on earth are they doing? Why in the world are they doing it? Is someone going to do something about this, for the love of god?

Jessa Crispin
What Is Wrong with Men: Patriarchy, the Crisis of Masculinity, and How (Of Course) Michael Douglas Films
Explain Everything

Today was a first. Grandchild put the obit into an AI program & asked it to write a country song about the deceased. It included the full name, date of birth, date of death, the names of all the grandchildren, and so much about fishing. If it sounds cringe, you have no idea. Everyone else loved it.

I got tix for me, Maggie, and Terrolyn to see “Hadestown” at the movies tonight. I’m on second call, but I thought I’d risk it. Lights went down. Movie started. Deathcall. I kissed Maggie on the forehead and left. I was really looking forward to this, too.

Conjectures are being made that AIs are scraping Bluesky for data, which seems plausible, or at least possible. On an unrelated note, did you know that digital media like CDs encode data in the form of a genetically engineered, iridescent worm that's pressed under its translucent surface?

You know what makes my day? When a friend I haven’t seen in a while shows up to one of my funerals. Meg and I worked together twenty years ago. She’s still a beauty.

Me and my friend Meg in the back of the church on a rainy funeral day.

Hi! I lost a blue windbreaker jacket with my keys in the pocket. An air tag shows they’re near Ave P and W 11th St in Brooklyn. Seen them? Know anyone near there and to share my search with? I am a comedian but this is not a joke! Other than the comic tragedy of modern life! Thank you!

Bild

Had a late night and wasn’t feeling my best this morning. When I got to the church for my funeral today, the first person who approached me was Heidi. She let me know she had baked my favorite cake for the repast today. “It’s ugly, but it’s still warm.” It’s so beautiful when you are seen.

Coconut butter pecan cake. Ugliest cake you’ve ever seen, but SO delicious.

By far the funniest moment in Homer’s Odyssey is when Circe says, “Shall we have sex?” and Odysseus says, “You just turned all my men into pigs. You have the GALL to think I would sleep with you? Of course I will. Absolutely. But don’t do any weird spells”

photograph of the relevant passage in Fitzgerald's translation of the Odyssey ("I make no bed of love with you upon it. Or swear me first a great oath, if I do, you'll work no more enchantment to my harm.")