All juries need to be comprised of 46 million people each to ensure a fair trial.
BOSS: Have you sorted the competition prize money? £12,000 isn’t it? ME [CLEARLY WEARING A BRAND NEW £76 BANDANA]: Yeh something like that
people always say to me "you must be fun at parties" but I'm really not!! I kind of just awkwardly mill around on my phone unless there's someone there I know. If anything, I bring the vibe down.
all eyes on Ribena as the doors to Rumba Rapids remain mysteriously shut
Is there still a chance they're all ghosts or something #millionpoundshot
that Affluenza play needs investigating by Trading Standards for tricking people into booking a Andy Sandberg play thinking they're gonna get The Lonely Island
i hate gay halloween what do you mean you're Heinz UK's brand safe version of the i hate gay halloween trend
why the hell are there tarrfifs on gherkins anyway. what are we trying to achieve there.
"Wetherspoons bans the Poppy" is like the last thing on a timeline you read in a future history textbook about how the Second British Civil War started
why don't bands release music videos for songs they've written for movies where they awkwardly edit themselves into scenes from the movie anymore?
Claudia will be like "you could even say... they were crossing a rope bridge over a river full of crocodiles" and the contestants will be like omg what could the task be
thinking about the time I posted my emergency grab bag on tiktok and they just roasted me in the comments
going to see YCSE at UK release in central London and as god is my witness Nathan better be there
Once Romeo and Juliet have both killed themselves I'd have Friar Lawrence quickly come back on stage and go 'well, this is absolutely fucked'. I realise I'm inserting a whole line there but it feels justified by the story.
Mark Wallace@wallaceme.bsky.social · last mo.Ok don’t let’s get carried away but I found something genuinely good on Threads.
remember when they used to give you free headphones on planes? like 90% of my headphones growing up were flimsy lil' British Airways pairs - the ones you sort of plugged into the armrest??
presumably gonna be enforced by the all the ticket inspectors and transport police you always see on all transport constantly
Politics UK@politicsuk.com · 3w ago🚨 NEW: Andy Burnham has announced people on buses who vape, play loud music, litter or threaten others will face £100 fines from today
[FOR THIS JOKE YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT A PERCY PIG IS, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THEY MAKE A SIMILAR SNACK CALLED A "REVERSY PERCY", AND YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE SOMEONE HAS HEARD OF THE LATTER BUT NOT THE FORMER] wow, they make a reverse reversy percy?
this country can't even get people to turn their music off on public transport, good luck talking anyone into dying for it
Unusual Whales@unusualwhales.bsky.social · 3w agoBREAKING: The head of the army says the UK's political leaders are about to start a "frank conversation" with the public about the need to prepare for war, per Sky News. General Sir Roly Walker said every citizen will be asked to make sacrifices and to play their part in the defence of the nation.
I like that Google gives you RSVP options for recurring events that can apply not just to the current and future instances, but also all previous ones. feels like a strong spacetime flex. I'm a Maybe for this meeting, I've always been a Maybe. I never was, nor could I have been anything else.
This is basically what is running through my brain at all times Monzo but thanks anyway I guess 😭 solid banking advice
Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) | Dir: John McTiernan
Nick Hilton@nickfthilton.bsky.social · last mo.For 'professional' reasons, I am a member of lots of small town Facebook groups. This bloke has been appearing in towns across Sussex (Horsham, Redhill, Crawley, East Grinstead) with no apparent explanation. This is precisely why I stay subscribed to these groups.
