When I’m loading the dishwasher I’ll sometimes push the rack in by lifting the door, to give the crockery a little roller coaster ride
Craig Deeley
@craiguito.bsky.social
I do stand-up and post silly things. I also did a podcast https://www.podbean.com/pi/pbblog-zf537-286755
Oh no, the absolute worst has happened. Please respect my privacy at this time.
Donald Trump reminds me of that terrible president America had 4 years ago.
Ever read an email and think ‘this should’ve been a meeting’
A small child is spinning his little sister round by her arm here in the supermarket. That always ends well, doesn’t it?
“That’s just what they want you to believe” - Me, looking at best-before dates of stuff in my fridge
Both series (and Xmas special) of my little podcast 'Trish of the Day' available here. Trish, Sue and I would love you to give it a listen. (You can even choose your preferred podcast-listening platform from here). Thank you for your attention to this matter. craiguito.podbean.com/page/2/
Page 2 | Trish of the Day
The magazine show hosted by Trish and her invited expert guests (and Sue from her office). Whether it’s the perfect funeral, dating advice, or the woman who married a ghost, Trish and her special gues...
craiguito.podbean.com
I ordered some bread rolls that were so shiny I took them back to the baker to complain, I went in with all buns glazing
Roses are red Thoughts are thinky Something Something Something
Looking forward to bringing my show 'Literally the Joke' to Birmingham Comedy Festival, at Cherry Reds on Sun 11 October, 6.30pm. Pay what you want! www.eventbrite.com/e/craig-deel...
CRAIG DEELEY: LITERALLY THE JOKE – Birmingham Comedy Festival
Part stand-up, part PowerPoint melt-down.
eventbrite.com
Sorry I was an hour and a half late, my washing machine said 1 minute remaining and I decided to wait
Not saying the service in a café yesterday was slow, but on the back of the menu it said they opened in the year 1858, and there was a picture of me ordering my cup of tea
Tonight my Foghorn Unscripted chums present an improvised 1980s Murder Mystery, part of King’s Heath Comedy Festival. Cambridge Rd Methodist Church, 7.30pm. www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Bir...
Not saying I'm old, but Cardi B is what I call my back-up cardigan
In 375AD the Huns invaded Europe. They were OK, but they didn't want to talk about it.
Folks complaining the actors in The Odyssey don't look Ancient Greek are oddly nostalgic for the era when John Wayne was apparently the most qualified Mongolian on Earth.
Eddie Izzard ran 28 marathons in 28 days, I think to myself while picking my underwear off the floor with my toes to avoid bending down.
The Odyssey is another great film in the genre of “let’s try to get Matt Damon Home”
“In case of adverse heat, please use the main door if you need to air your undercarriage”
Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages, and some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.
Just switched off a telly programme starring Courtney Pine and Vanessa Mae. There's far too much sax and violins on the telly these days.
Good morning to everyone except neighbours who possess their own traffic cones
A guy came to replace my boiler this morning. He seems very nice but doesn’t heat the water up as effectively