Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun, on wings made of wax. I did that exact thing.
When I’m reading my friends reply and I’m like yeah, spot on, she gets me and then you realize it was your own text you’re reading and she hasn’t even answered yet. But when she does, she will back you up completely and you’ll be like yeah, spot on, she gets me.
don’t force the grandeur, you must allow the delusions to form organically
I myself don’t partake of Halloween in August but I will give your taller than a house Pennywise inflatable a little nod as I drive by.
boy, are you a data center bc you are sucking the life out of me
Some of my best friends are just persistent people that wouldn’t take no for answer
If only there was a place to go with people inside who could tell you if your thumb was actually broken or just sprained.
Nothing says Boston quite like standing outside a courthouse en masse wearing pink. 🩷
If i ever lost anything, my husband is probably the last person I would go to for help.
You never bring me flowers anymore. Is it because of our acrimonious break up?
Hide and seek but it’s two 5 foot tall people back to school shopping together.
Your dog doesn't care that you're a little stupid. He's a little stupid too.
Going through my parents' stuff and found this weird little gal. She's a transistor radio. Her right eyeball is tuner and her left eyeball is power/volume.
Was listening to Aretha while driving downtown with my windows open yesterday and cars were pulling over like I was Justice