Jack Boot
@jackboot.bsky.social
Some rando. I shall occasionally be reposting my old crap from the other place. If that's gauche, sue me. I only have so many thoughts. My thingy-doos: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x7c6xlcylaorwzbms2xlzjpf/feed/aaacjsujdyxeu
Aww. The adoring gaze from your loyal dog after you get home and give him some rubbins. He just won't leave my side. I'm sure the big piece of cheese I'm eating has nothing to do with it.
Love the new dodge from sites determined to trade in users' information. "Reject all" is no longer an option on cookies. It's now "Accept all" or "Pay to be allowed to assert your rights".
Every day brings me closer to being that old guy who goes shirtless from May – September. The lack of self-awareness coupled with not giving a single fuck must be sublime
If I said you had a beautiful massage recliner, would you hold it against me?
While ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ is an old dog favorite, you can also perform CPR to ‘I Can’t Win’ by the Strokes.
God: I'm testing you. You: When does the test end? God: Never. But there will be brief moments of respite when you mistake less than utterly disastrous results for progress. Take comfort in them.
It's peculiar how many heroic people there are in the movies compared to real life. Real people are very interested in not getting killed.
me: i wrote a poem called the odyssey once & it was about me trying to get out of a trader joe’s parking lot at lunchtime. the priest giving me communion: have you tried being an atheist?
they should make cheeses for when you are sad, cheeses for when you feel like doing 147 math problems in a row, cheeses for when you need a nap, and cheeses for when you’re feeling extra horny
No, I would describe her bitch face as very active. I doubt it ever rests.
Listen, beasties, you may not realize it but Moby Dick is one horny piece of classic literature. Sure, they’re just horny for whaling, but DAYUM Captain Ahab has a giant boner for getting that whale. Just wait until you read the passage with the description of a whale’s blowhole.
Running outside waving at the sky yelling "DOWN HERE" every time a plane flies over
Stop calling me an amateur. I've been doing this for decades. I'm incompetent.
maniacal laughter for maniacal circumstances doesn't feel like the best medicine, and that's why I take Prescription Drugs™️
No degree or accolade can match the feeling I get when an animal decides I'm comfortable enough to fall asleep on
Driving cross-country is exciting because there's always that possibility that your remains will never be found
oh dear look at you. ok well you might as well come in but no shoes on the carpet. i'll fix us both a nice cup of general foods international coffee and we'll have a good rap session. i hope irish mocha mint's ok it's got saccharine and i'm watching my weight.
I lost a decade somewhere. I don't want it back. I'm just curious as to where it went.
reminder that your all your bedsheets are potential ghosts
When I go in my attic I pretend to be a ghost so real ghosts won’t get me.
I woke up this morning and my hair resembled that of a cartoon cat zapped by an electric socket.
A Ghost Story You feel the phone buzz in your pocket but the phone is not in your pocket.
It isn’t that I don’t do Mondays-Monday just always does me harder, then bums a cigarette afterward and runs off with my lighter.
A crepe myrtle dumped its little pink blossoms into my pool, and I thought, ‘Oh, how beautiful to swim in the flowers!’ and as I did, I got lost in thought and forgot they were there, and they clung to me, and I couldn’t stop smacking myself.
