They stopped making ghosts just after the civil war. You’ll never see a ghost with a man bun or hitting a juul
Crockett Houghton
@crocketthoughton.com
Horror Novelist. Film Critic. Husband. Fourth Thing. Co-Founder & Lead Writer for https://frightaboutnow.com.
"There are only two rules in horror. To show something that shouldn't be there and is, or something that should be there and is not." - Guillermo del Toro. From September 26, 2026 to July 25, 2027, The Horror Show at The Academy Museum celebrates horror cinema like never before.
Are you kicking me out of the buffet because I shared with my friend or because we’re wearing a horse costume
I spent the last three days looking for our pepper shaker, growing more and more convinced that someone broke into our house and stole it for giggles. I just found it, less than an inch from where it was supposed to be but sitting on top of the peanut butter.
one of the greatest joys of life is pressing buttons and clicking your mouse and seeing things happen on your computer screen
My wife wanted me to try her gluten-free ramen so she extended a fork full of them towards me. I put my hand under them, as one does, so they didn't drip on the table and she dumped the pile of noodles onto my palm, like that's what I wanted, with complete confidence. I love my wife.
This is moments after I informed her that she won the award for being the best girl with the most beautiful everything AND the award for being the prettiest princess in all of the land. She was quite delighted to accept her prizes (belly rubs and dog treats).
ON SALE THIS WEEK: - Jimmy Eat Wood - Parafloor - My Chemical Remnants - Floor Out Boy - The Promise Rug - Floorboard Confessional
Baby Gaga was right there and they whiffed it.
The Hollywood Reporter@thr.com · 3w agoLady Gaga is a mother!
THERAPIST: So, what do you do to relax? ME: I play a video game where I roleplay as a 911 dispatcher THERAPIST: [rapidly taking notes] oh ME: 10-4, copy, over and out
Thing about Nathan Fielder that sets him apart is that he seems to be just as shocked as you are that he gets away with the weird shit he does.
If there was vomit on my sweater already from mom’s spaghetti I think I would just stay home. No rap battles for me tonight please, I am unwell.
I don't understand people complaining about Zach Cregger making a film set in the world of Resident Evil instead of a film based on one of the games. If they want to experience the story of the games, play the games, they still exist. He's clearly a fan, care was clearly taken, it looks fantastic.
I don't understand people complaining about Zach Cregger making a film set in the world of Resident Evil instead of a film based on one of the games. If they want to experience the story of the games, play the games, they still exist. He's clearly a fan, care was clearly taken, it looks fantastic.
I would be so good at being a talking head on UFO documentaries. I can spout off bullshit and hogswallop with a straight face all day. And i dress weird. Honestly its insane im not already famous for this
Some of y'all are turning off replies when you should really just delete
Fell down the laundry chute again why does this keep happening
As I said 4 months ago, Tim Curry was an absolute legend and the world was a better place for him being in it. RIP.
Crockett Houghton@crocketthoughton.com · 6mo agoTim Curry, the absolute legend, turns 80 today. This man took huge swings.
Live your life in such a way that when you're gone people only have good things to say about you. Rest in peace to the queen of goodness Dolly Parton.
I'm a GROWN ASS MAN. My pockets are full of BEEF JERKY. I regularly fantasize about single-handedly TAKING OUT A TEAM OF TERRORISTS like the guy in DIE HARD. My bedtime is REASONABLE.