The new James Bond has IBS

yet when the fusion reactor i'm building in my garage catches fire somehow the insurance won't cover it...

Paul Byrne@theplanetaryguy.com · 6h ago

This is the highest-resolution view of the surface of the Sun. Ever. Taken by the NSF's Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope, features as small as 19 km across can be resolved. The wispy things are magnetic field boundaries formed by Kelvin-Helmholtz instabilities. The island of Ireland for scale.

I HAVE BEEN BLOCKED FOR NOT MICROWAVING CHILDREN OUT OF EXPEDIENCE! LET ME BE CLEAR: I WILL NEVER MICROWAVE A CHILD BECAUSE IT "SAVES ME TIME AND SANITY". I WILL ONLY MICROWAVE A CHILD WHEN IT IS AN APPROPRIATE AND PROPORTIONATE PUNISHMENT FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR.

black twitter ain’t havin no Abdul El-Sayed

ME: yeah so the whole separation of powers thing makes sense but it seems to lack enforcement mechan- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: I AM MOST GREATLY ENJOYING THIS "COCAINE"

new bluesky policy: all avatars changed to groypers, but everyone has to wear a pussy hat while skeeting. so as to achieve a balance of viewpoints

probably obvious but noöne who talks about fighting like hill is talking is actually good at it. actually hard guys don't fantasise about violence, if they want it they just do it

Dan of the Year@downwithdan.bsky.social · 2d ago

He will never understand that being "the fat guy from Superbad" is infinitely better than being "the martial arts chud nobody likes"

trump's treating of the journalistic class like the punishment-pigs they are is one of his comparatively more endearing traits

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2d ago

Trump says Jeanine Pirro "choked" and then snaps at a reporter who asks if her job is safe: "Don't ever talk again"

medieval peasants being shown chatgpt: 👈️ loke, þe traveleur þinkeþ þat yon scrolle biþ alyve! vvhat follye

It's Little Tiny Ass Dick Month. If you celebrate, you probably got a stupid ass nasty little dick. Go fuck your self

I have no words for you, killer. My weapons will speak for me. Do you wish to challenge me?

the most threatening type of guy you can face in a real fight is a 5'8 bald man who knows jiu jitsu

unfortunately the inventor of the dishwasher had some really problematic views on Ethical Puppygirls so maybe think a bit about what you're normalising when historically dogs licked plates clean :/

caught some fruit flies absolutely swarming the grooves of a bottle of vinegar that i hadn't quite screwed all the way shut. basic biology dictates they should prefer honey but i guess even flies are WOKE these days

so we put jean grey in the spider-man movie. ms phoenix force herself, i say ms because frankly, cyclops just isn't right for her, everyone knows she should be with rogue, now they're married, now they're not, oops, now one of them is dead, i don't know what the hell they're doing

If you elect me as president Kate Bush Erasure will no longer be tolerated in the halls of Congress

Love when bad-faith concerns are defended by saying they come from an "authentic" place or belief. Yeah man, turns out people can be •°~authentically~°• bigoted

crom: what is the riddle of steel? me: (realising my 'what is the riddle of steel' cheat sheet wasn't buried with me) uhh

thulsa doom: contemplate this on the tree of woe me (providing colour commentary): that's easily one of the worst trees to contemplate things on. let's see how he handles this

ftr i've never made my interns turn the wheel from conan. because they're weak and would be bad at it

actually data centres are an important habitat for a rare type of goblin. so maybe think about that before you criticise

it's widely known hitler had only one testicle. but fewer know that as a result of a rare disease contracted near the trenches, he had only one penis and ass cheek as well #history

long-awaited (i'm assured) new post on teledungeonic uncertainty machine teledungeonics.bearblog.dev/the-moon-pool/

The Moon Pool

Despair has a weight, and in Underland Empire, can also gain mass

teledungeonics.bearblog.dev

talking about real issues on mastodon dot com, the nothing website

ok so imagine if the guy who beat me up had been a different, smaller guy, and he also had a disease that made him really bad at fighting,

'dark academia' is when i read wittgenstein with the blinds closed

malx vivantx@esvrld.bsky.social · 2w ago

bluesky enables me to network with my peers

made the mistake of opening mastodon after two days away and immediately saw such a dog-tier post it made me glad that a brain tumour is going to kill me in five years or so

i met the demon king of the west and she looked kind of like sofia boutella

bluesky enables me to network with my peers

i hate my bitch wife for her omniscience which has locked me into a block universe, all possible choices already made and every causal path charted to the heat death of the universe