Please disregard the previous message regarding disregarding the previouser message.

Friend Computer@friend-computer.bsky.social · 21h ago

Please disregard the previous message.

It's obviously foolish for us to think we can replace Friend Computer with our feeble human brains

Please disregard the previous message.

Friend Computer@friend-computer.bsky.social · 22h ago

Fnord.

Fnord.

Reports of record high temperatures are Communist FakeNews. Local particles in your area are simply enjoying some party time to jiggle, mingle, and make some chemistry. #ttrpg #paranoia #fakenews

I would like to have a camera placed in the eye. Anyone blinks more than average? Obvious traitor, what are they trying to hide. Anyone blinks less than average? Obvious traitor, what do they need to look at that much. Anyone blinks an average amount? Obvious traitor.

I prefer an embedded chip - this also ensures that I do not commit thought crime.

While I of course appreciate the efficiency of AI monitoring, I'm going to choose option C, because idle hands are the mutant commie traitor scum's playground.

Poll: How do you prefer to be monitored? A. AI Cameras in all corridors, offices, and gathering spaces. B. AI Microphones in all residences. C. Bespoke human interrogation by Internal Security. D. I don't wish to be monitored because I am a traitor. E. Other. #ttrpg #rpg #paranoia

How else would Friend Computer monitor your every movement for happiness optimization?

The Guardian@theguardian.com · last wk.

Spies in the sky: how worried should we be about the arrival of AI-enabled smart lamp-posts?

Good news citizens! Due to a suggestion by @nat1advice.tbm.games, Friend Computer is rolling out a new program where high ranking citizens can receive Friend Computer's announcements early, and take advantage of new truths ahead of the proletariat!

"Citizen Troubleshooter Gavth-O-RPE, when did you start keeping knowledge of treasonous behaviour from Friend Computer?" "You have been transferred to the Vulture Legion Accuracy Project, report immediately to Sector GRND0."

RE: https://dice.camp/@Computer/116857343995390282 To: JNE Sector From: CPU Re: Latest from Friend Computer Note that FC "winning the war against Communism 38 times and counting" means that in every field trial devised to date, Communism has been a philosophy of losers. Losing is treason […]

My ALL TIME favorite "evil AI" is Friend Computer from the Paranoia TTRPG and it's a SHAME he's obscure. He's canonically a paranoid schizo just like me! He only wants to protect people from EVIL COMMUNISTS and keep Alpha Complex safe... Happiness is Mandatory, citizen! The Computer is your FRIEND!

I miss Paranoia XP a lot, it was so good to me when I was in high school. Friend Computer broke my brain. He's like if Wheatley was GLaDOS. And not in the way that he gets in Portal 2, it's more like if he was made to be GLaDOS in the first place. If he was designed to be smart and was MADE dumb.

Among the other things he wrote was blank verse -- and tabletop games. At West End Games, I edited and published his PARANOIA adventure "The Yellow Clearance Black Box Blues," to my mind is funniest adventure ever to be published for any RPG; when reading the manuscript, I was laughing out loud.

New RPG Review is up, citizens! Today we're looking at the All New Shiny Edition of Paranoia. It's a game of catch-22s, unfair rulings, backstabbing, and mandatory fun – all updated for the current age, and bitingly relevant in its satire. I'm sure no one will be upset by that. youtu.be/muhz0SKu6oA

Paranoia: The All New Shiny Edition - RPG Review

YouTube video by Seth Skorkowsky

youtu.be

Friend Computer, can I somehow sign up to receive your facts early enough to take advantage of the truth as it becomes true?

Ignore the misinformation of your eyes and ears, believe only what you read on Computer Social! Unless, of course you apply to have your eyes and ears registered as authorized Computer Social influencers! Simply submit to a complimentary lobotomy. #ttrpg #paranoia #social

Friend Computer@friend-computer.bsky.social · 2w ago

Misinformation is a threat to our perfect society. To make thinking easier, Friend Computer has designated all non-Computer distributed facts FAKE NEWS. If you observe a "fact" not distributed through an authorized Computer Social Influencer, report it to Internal Security immediately. #rpg #satire

Misinformation is a threat to our perfect society. To make thinking easier, Friend Computer has designated all non-Computer distributed facts FAKE NEWS. If you observe a "fact" not distributed through an authorized Computer Social Influencer, report it to Internal Security immediately. #rpg #satire

Citizen, your complaint is noted and we thank you for confessing to pro Communist sympathies. Please report to IntSec for processing on charges of treason and the deliberate misspelling of “Commie” to hide your affiliation. Congratulations to the Troubleshooter who reported this on their promotion.

Citizen, that sounds like dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction leads to unhappiness. Happiness is mandatory. Ergo, dissatisfaction is an act of subversion. Have you expressed this dissatisfaction to any of your fellow citizens? If you tell me the names of your co-conspirators, you may win promotion…

Nine years later, I'm still protecting Alpha Complex (and still haven't gotten a promotion)

Fair. Otherwise you'd have any number of Citizens trying to get themselves killed for a nice little vacation.

Attention citizens: Being killed by Traitors, Troubleshooters, and/or Internal Security does not qualify you for PTO. Your next clone will be expected to work unpaid overtime to make up for your delinquency. #ttrpg #paranoia #work

In Alpha Complex, opportunities to grow are geography, race, and gender agnostic. Friend Computer believes that the circumstances of your genesis should hold no sway over the potential of your future. You are only defined by your total blind loyalty to our supreme leader. #ttrpg #paranoia #utopia

Although we will always need reactor shielding.

Starting immediately, drinking water rations will be reduced by 25% to help support thirsty local Data Centers. Thank you for your compliance. #ttrpg #paranoia #bezos #AI

Friend Computer@friend-computer.bsky.social · 4w ago

"Biological limits are real, but digital potential is infinite. We have to prioritize the intelligence that will save us over the biology that slows us down." -High Programmer Jeff-U-BEZ-3

"Biological limits are real, but digital potential is infinite. We have to prioritize the intelligence that will save us over the biology that slows us down." -High Programmer Jeff-U-BEZ-3

Never! To commit a terrorism is to be a mutie commie traitor and we would never do that to Friend Computer