papa smurf could take care of gargamel at any time but he knows the constant threat is good for his reelection camapigns

ME: Can I use the bathroom? FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him. MR: He's not leaving. FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think. PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...

but doctor, my wife left me for pagliacci

why did they host the springfield swap meet so far outside of springfield?

no matter the situation, it's been incredibly cool to see max scherzer pitch for my team

When the gods want to test a man's character they put him on the computer

MAMMAL BULLYING A REPTILE: Nice body temperature dude. Did the sun pick it out for you

french patrol to jean valjean french patrol to jean valjean take your loaf of bread and put your shackles on (two) french patrol to jean valjean (four, six, zero, one) his sentence ends, parole’s begun (two, four, six, zero) said the bishop “and may god’s love be with you” (one, run off)

while I'm sure the muppets would make a great odyssey interpretation real ones know this is a job for the peanuts crew

I think we should keep varsho

grondo here accused worst caveman crime, he shame us before all ancestors: grug say grondo mix the berries. what say grondo grondo very lucky today he die free caveman. grondo love mix berries. grondo not live in a world where berries no mix. grondo guilty as snake

on family feud answering in the form of a question

he's taking in the role of the stopwatch

Oliver Darcy@oliverdarcy.bsky.social · last wk.

Scoop: I’m told that Ross Douthat is exiting The NYT and is expected to take a role at “60 Minutes.” News expected to be announced soon.

denis villeneuve return to your canadian roots and give us the cremation of sam mcgee

Jesse Hawken@jessehawken.bsky.social · last wk.

Studio execs are going to want to adapt more poems for the big screen now

look at this and tell me there's a god

Sunsette / Cynthia Skye@sunderedmarches.com · 2w ago

Urban planners will talk about a city like, "this is a great example of how planning can make a city usable for residents" and then the city will have a 7-way intersection widely known as The Calamity where half the roads are one-ways, cyclists come out of an unmarked bush, and there are no lamps.

me and the boys trying to remember what we were talking about

I wonder if the Sens still have the 112 page masterplan sitting around the front office

Odysseus and his men land on an island where everything is perfect, except no one knows what a doughnut is

Odysseus and his men showing up on Gilligan's island

Blue sky nice ghost@rajandelman.bsky.social · 2w ago

Odysseus and his men landing on an island where they have to play basketball against the Harlem Globetrotters

It would be funny if Nolan came out and said "Actually the Odyssey was filmed on an iPhone and none of you bitches know fuck-all"

before he was Betancourt he was YUNIESKY In theaters this Christmas

the tariffs are miniscule compared to the continued harassment of the tampa bay rays upon our great nation

getting gender neutral bathrooms at the catholic women's league convention. no I am not involved in the org in any way

Gail Simone@gailsimone.bsky.social · 2w ago

Okay, my QUESTION OF THE DAY is… What is your weirdest actual accomplishment? Not the biggest necessarily…but the weirdest?