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Laura Pearlman

@laurasbadideas.bsky.social

My stories are in Nature, Shimmer, and a few other places. My LOLcat captions are on McSweeney's. Editor of @catscast.org. Member of Codex, SFWA.

95 Posts315 Follower216 Folgt
Beth Cato@bethcato.bsky.social · 5mo ago

I am not on TikTok. I will never be on TikTok. This bethcato2 account is impersonating me and direct messaging writers in an effort to sell marketing services. Any account pretending to be me on TikTok is fraudulent.

I AM NOT ON TIKTOK! I AM BEING IMPERSONATED! SCAMMER! IMAGE THIEF! REPORT THEM! WARN PEOPLE! A graphic shows a screenshot of an account for bethcato2 with numerous stolen images.
PodCastle@podcastle.org · 5mo ago

#NarratorCall: we need a Hawaiian male-presenting narrator for an incredible 4700-word story. $30 paid! If this is you, record a 2min sample MP3 and email it to podcastle@escapeartists.net so we can check recording quality.

RM@dorsalstream.bsky.social · 6mo ago

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …
SB Divya@sbdivya.bsky.social · 7mo ago

Most people live like the pandemic never happened, but some of us never fully got our lives back. For 5 years, I’ve lived with Long Covid in the form of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). There are millions around the world like me. Today is #LongCovidAwareness Day. Help spread the word!

Tan backdrop with teal border. Text says “I have had Long Covid since my infection in January, 2021. Millions need urgent, meaningful, and sustained action.” Above the text is a photo of SB Divya, a brown nonbinary person with short black hair and dark eyes, wearing a black KN95 mask with gold jewelry.
Laura Pearlman@laurasbadideas.bsky.social · 7mo ago

This site needs a break. Post 3 good things, none of which are the cessation of a negative. 1. Cats, especially my cat, especially when she's lying across my chest, purring softly as we both drift off to sleep. 2. Working on things with people who work well together. 3. Chocolate.

Summer Fletcher@summerfletcher.com · 7mo ago

This site needs a break. Post 3 good things, none of which are the cessation of a negative. 1. Pastries 2. Crunchy snacks 3. Climbing

PseudoPod 🎙️@pseudopod.org · 11mo ago

🎃👻 PseudoPod 1001: A Coven of Cats Under the Light of the Moon & The Halloween Parade "On this night, we escaped from our homes" Authors: M. Halstead & Alasdair Stuart Narrators: Laura Pearlman & Alasdair Stuart Host: Alasdair Stuart Audio: Chelsea Davis These pieces are PseudoPod originals

PseudoPod 1001: A Coven of Cats Under the Light of the Moon and The Halloween Parade

On this night, we escaped from our homes—we darted through the open doors, we leaped over the privacy fences, we fled under-bush to converge on this place. Some of us have traveled many miles…

pseudopod.org

Laura Pearlman@laurasbadideas.bsky.social · last yr.

Every time I finish watching something on Netflix, they send me an email titled "<thing I just watched> ending explained". Does Netflix think all their shows are incomprehensible? Or do they just think I'm exceptionally stupid?

Laura Pearlman@laurasbadideas.bsky.social · last yr.

My favorite DIY renovation (from a house I saw when househunting but did NOT buy) was a brick bathtub. Not just a brick enclosure; the actual tub, the part you'd fill with water and sit in to bathe, was made of brick & mortar.

Kingfisher & Wombat@tkingfisher.com · last yr.

When househunting for the first time in…2006? I think? We looked at a house by someone who clearly enjoyed DIY renovations. I have never seen a weirder house. There was a bathroom directly off the living room, separated by sliding mirror doors.

Laura Pearlman@laurasbadideas.bsky.social · 2y ago

My house is still standing! There's some wind damage, air quality is bad outside and maybe worse inside, there's no electricity or drinkable water, and I have the Oak Branch of Damocles in my back yard, but other than that, everything's perfect! Seriously, this is good news. #EatonFire

Hamm!@hammonddiehl.bsky.social · 2y ago

So here comes my next story, due in March from Flame Tree Press, in which a decrepit Achilles tries to evolve into a reasonably decent guy. Chaos ensues. blog.flametreepublishing.com/fantasy-goth...

Myths, Gods & Immortals | Contents Announcement | Achilles

We’re excited to present the list of stories featured in our new Achilles book! Seventeen brand new tales by modern authors retell Achilles’ story and imagine alternative paths, richer backgrounds and...

blog.flametreepublishing.com