with apologies to the young man who left his extremely well-curated spotify account logged in on the hotel tv: if my daughter didn’t hear elmo’s alphabet rap we were all going to die
New ‘Ted Lasso’ Season Aims To Teach Viewers About Shapes, Colors https://theonion.com/new-ted-lasso-season-aims-to-teach-viewers-about-shapes-colors/
A really funny complaint about the Zohran discount grocery store idea is that non-poor people could use it when there’s a grocery store half a mile from my grocery store that has everything cost 20% more that rich people go to because they don’t want to shop with normal people.
I am hearing that Haley Stevens received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now she looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!
Donald Fagen after the 37th studio take was .02 bpm out of time:
Hillbilly Highlander@hillhighlander.bsky.social · 17h ago
bluesky is an esoteric millennial cult centered around the messianic promise of returning to Forums
Day three of amoxicillin after three and half weeks of sinus infection and let me tell you, those sinuses finally emptying feels *incredible*
I'm officially claiming the ✋️ emoji for Michigan. Don't use it if you're not from Michigan
Endorsement of the sell-out loser really puts a puncuation on Whitmer's dramatic fall from grace. Hard to believe she was be floated as a presidential hopeful for a minute there
Pretty sure when you win the election it's a big election night. Pretty sure when your party's leadership all endorses the loser, it means the leadership is out of touch with the electorate.
Politico@politico.com · 18h agoProgressives didn’t get the big election night they wanted
Money out of politics. Money in your pocket. Medicare for All. Michigan... We won. I am so proud to be your Democratic nominee for US Senate. Let's win in November.
Someone last night told me about "gerunds" and thats the fakest thing Ive ever heard
I don't what to "ask" my apps god damn anything. Why in the living fuck would I want to ask zillow AI something
Everybody's wife has that one lovecraftian shawl/sweater/dress/??? thing that's incomprehensible
aint no space x rocket crashin into no moon cuz aint no globe earth
Stop saying "log into a portal." Sounds way too cool for what's happening.
Couldn't think of the word "deodorant", and called it "pit stuff"
An urgent care doctor diagnosed and prescribed a pill for my sinusitis in about 5 minutes, almost nonchalantly. I'm already feeling better. For something that in the not-too-distant-past may have potentially worsened into the thing that killed me
What is this "drafts" feature everyone seems to be using? Either something is good enough to post, or it's not
Dude ahead of me at the Pharmacy today had a co-pay of two dollars and he was making a big deal and laughing about how great that was and had it not been for the "respect orher people's privacy sign" I would have piped up with "oh it cost you a *whole lot* more than two dollars, sir"
skáld@danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 2d agoeverything about this is fake except what i have to pay
Blueksy is gonna look itself in the mirror, take a deep breath and tell itself "we gotta get more racist"
The Verge@theverge.com · 2d agoBluesky's new CEO Toni Schneider on the platform's reputation for being a liberal bubble: "Yes, we definitely want that to change. It is already changing. It certainly wasn’t designed to attract one specific group of people."
Sometimes despite my best efforts I end up on the RIGHT SIDE of threads
Unfortunately being reminded recently of how many people wanted to fuck Anthony Fauci
you know shit is getting serious when you start blasting the sinus irrigations
demonstrating the valsalva maneuver to my class of med students and it doesn't work and I poop my pants instead
They should release Twitter: Classic, a nostaglia slop revival of Twitter from mid 2020 to mid 2021
