Brother set up an AC unit in my room and it's so nice and cool now It's so beautiful 😭😭

Children do not choose whether or not to go to school, so "school" does not choose whether or not to feed them!!!

zhinxy and 1 other@zhinxy.bsky.social · 2y ago

If you force someone to be somewhere all day, then you are obligated to fucking feed them. Every other argument for and against free school lunch is beside the point.

My gyno at our post-op visit, after saying hi etc: "So, you have endometriosis. Do you wanna see?" Me: "Oh my god, yes!" Lolll then I got one of the arm birth control rods to see if it will help with symptoms etc

i bet neil degrasse tyson HATES twinkle twinkle little star. sitting there arms folded all sulky like “i most certainly Do Not wonder what you are,”

Odysseus is Athena's hyperfixation blorbo and I think that's the best lens through which to understand her actions. I'm not a homer scholar but I HAVE spent a lot of time in various fandoms.

I was reminded of this so now I'm laughing about it again

Amy is Liminal@mycatisblued.bsky.social · last yr.

Okay but a show where it's technically Greek myths as a television show being aired and the gods and shit are like producers and directors and writers and so on... So all of them interfering and having favorite characters ends up changing the stories etc. as it goes. The blorbos from THEIR shows.

Overnight, a masked bandit broke into our kitchen. Armed with opposable thumbs, he proceeded to sample everything on offer. I’d just visited the farmers market, so the menu was extensive. I can now share a highly specific peer-reviewed list of what this particular raider did & did not enjoy. 🧵

Raccoon's Evil Smile: 'Good, Good'

Alt: Raccoon's Evil Smile: 'Good, Good'

static.klipy.com

Me, waking from a short nap, standing up and waddling toward the bathroom, and speaking in a voice filled with positive curiosity: "I wonder if I might poop?" And folks, your girl had baby's first bowel movement post-surgery 🥰

Today is the day of my tube removal, so excited! I had to do the showers with the special soap and drink the three carbohydrates drinks that taste like overly ripe strawberries, and I was a big baby about it. But I did it 💪 And now we gonna get sterilized yaaaaaasssss

This weekend I ran over a full sized ladder that was lying in the middle of a lane on the freeway. It was some final destination type shit ffs Luckily, all that happened was my undercover got damaged and my mechanic checked it all out and fixed it for free cuz she's chill loll

Me, reading this popup note on an instagram group chat with my friends: "What if I kill you??"

my mom has these perfect periwinkle hydrangeas on the side of the house that no one can see

Just a simple biblical observation

i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

*reading the news too fast* lindsey graham died from diarrhea that he got from taco bell

Mr Cait's fitness journey

I bought the pre-cut/scooped cookie dough thinking "surely I will have the patience to make these cookies" Me right now:

Trying to organize my room Why am I some kind of fucking hoarding bird dragon? Where did all these little things come from wtf And why do I want to keep them??

Big day today...

Grilling hotdogs and drinking shandies made from Mike's hard lemonade and Early Bird IPA. I hate nations and patriotism, and I'm an agnostic, but I'm still enough of a post-American and post-Christian that I enjoy eating holiday foods at the same time as everybody else.

The moment you have a hobby people always want you to find ways to monetize it. No thanks, this is for the love of the game. Silly hobbies for silly bitches.

Brother brought home lamps to go on the wall on either side of my bed, and when I said I was interested in finding shelves for under one side, he pulled out some curved shelves and was like, "haven't found a use for these yet" and now he has put up a lamp and is putting up shelves 🤣

Sitting down to watch Supergirl and got fucking jump-scared by the minions

Four-year-old just told his toddler sister “it’s time for the hunt” and they both left the room. Not my business

In eighth grade someone told me that sprite is for pussies and it became one of my core beliefs

As I walked out of watching Disclosure Day some employees were talking about it and one guy said, "I don't know what to make of it, I need to watch it again." Bro, I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you, it was a very simple and straightforward movie

Laughing as I remember that I had gotten my now departed brainwashed conservative mother to come around to the idea that I both never want to give birth and dream of polyamory... Life is truly funny

I had mini quiche for breakfast...