– Jon Bois

Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani@mayor.nyc.gov · 3w ago

World Cup matches are taking a breather, but tomorrow we’re back in action. The semifinals are underway, and with just 6 days left in the tournament, now’s the time to plan where you’ll watch, eat, celebrate, and soak up the rest of the beautiful game.

theonion.com/dad-suggests...

Dad Suggests Arriving At Airport 14 Hours Early

CARLISLE, MA—Planning for his family’s Saturday evening flight to Florida, local dad Walter Holbrook suggested arriving at the airport at least 14 hours early, sources confirmed. "The plane leaves at ...

theonion.com

Bad Bunny. Bad, Bad, Bad Bunny December 30, 2005

There is precedent for this; Swedish and Norwegian naval ships have QR codes so that when they return to port they can scan da navy in.

Ritchie Torres@ritchietorres.bsky.social · 7mo ago

I am introducing the Quick Recognition (QR) Act, which requires ICE and CBP officers to wear uniforms featuring QR codes. When scanned, the code would generate a digital ID displaying the officer’s name, badge number, and law enforcement agency. ICE should be unmasked both physically and digitally.

Been over a year since I originally posted this guide to the names of different Mountain Dew-based cocktails. Several people have tried to make all of them which I do not recommend

Hearing reports that the next super bowl half time show will feature an insanely famous recording artist

Gwar? The musical ensemble?

Terminal Russell Brand syndrome. I take no pleasure in reporting this

Julia Carrie Wong@joolia.bsky.social · 11mo ago

this exists it is called thinking

Throwing trash in one of these hits different

Rural Indexing Project@ruralindexing.bsky.social · last yr.

Trash receptacle Columbia, AL

GO! MY LABUBU MISSILE! KILL!

Can you imagine being outed as the founder of a B2B SaaS wrapper for Apache Airflow at a Coldplay concert?

reporter: donald trump has announced that americans must evolve into a race of hardy metal men via mandated injections of liquid mercury. your response? klobuchar: *visibly straining to remember line consultants came up with* donkey kong donald’s economic policies are “bananas” for small business

The decision to avoid eating time-temperature abused food is a personal one

>be me >I’m a bajillionaire >I drive around in a $5 million car and look like a little worm >nobody likes me :(

good to drive i am

The name’s QINLIANFF. ACCYOD QINLIANFF, British suit, British spy suit two piece, 100% MI6 her majesty’s secret service MACHINE WASHABLE, separates, men’s suit tailor fit two piece classic wedding business sui

Mark Chadbourn@chadbourn.bsky.social · last yr.

If you like Bond this is disastrous.

No one tells you that working in the federal government is just your boss emailing you at 8:30pm every night begging you to quit