villain: hah! ironic that the one who shot you is your English professor! me: *bleeding out* actually it's... it's coincidental villain: *a single tear drops down his cheek* ... you passed
Rads
@rads.bsky.social
Everything in moderation, except for snacks. http://twitch.tv/its_radsy
what's your favorite video game music? mine's "single note sustained on a euphonium in a room with slight reverb"
GONNA DRINK MALORT AT 1PM EDT FOR THE FIRST TIME ON MY SUBATHON, 14 hours remain! Come say hi!!!! twitch.tv/its_radsy
Left my fiancé at the altar. The relationship is over, but the human sacrifice went perfectly
kinda cool how all the rich are turning against each other. maybe we don't have to eat the rich. maybe they'll eat themselves
only now realizing it's called "duck duck goose" because geese are aggressive
"student driver" sticker but fully licensed to drive, just also in law school
tech bro is short for technically broken
getting gang banged by philosophers is called getting a trolley run on you
[teaching my boyfriend cards] ME: the blue ones represent logic, the yellow are morality & order, the green use instinct & interdependence, and the red value chaos & impulse HIM: *frantically flipping through UNO instruction booklet*
deleting all of my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old-fashioned way (at the police station after being taken in because i called the police when someone tried to break into my house when I was going to see if my little brother was ditching school)
really caught my eye how your dating profile said you like “good beer.” it’s cool how you think the stuff you like is good. not a lot of people are that brave
can't tell if I’m manic or have suddenly become able to survive without food and sleep
aight ok I enrolled in a voice acting class thing everyone say "good luck rads hope you make your parents proud"
THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR
Not sure if it’s my depression influencing my drinking habits, but I’m willing to take a shot in the dark
BOSS: is your makeup tattooed on? ME: yeah it's exhausting to have to put it on every single morning BOSS: why a clown though
ME: [staring out the window reflecting on how my life got here after I ate the 18 month old chocolate bar that had been sitting on the kitchen table] ROOMMATE: did you eat the 18 month old chocolate bar that had been sitting on the kitchen table? ME: no
THE SMOLDERING ASHES OF A PHOENIX: you know what, i'm good
I sleep with a knife under my pillow in case someone with assorted meats and cheeses breaks in and needs to make a charcuterie board
Not sure if it’s my depression influencing my drinking habits, but I’m willing to take a shot in the dark