🎶 your own. personal. pizza. crust sauce cheese, it has all of these a little pan pizza, it'll make you a believer no need for a guest, to eat the rest you'll be impressed, because it's the best your pizza got delivered, just dig in to your dinner

CIA operative: the aliens didn't conduct any experiments on you? me: i think they forgot about me at one point my cell door opened and an alien came in with a mop and seemed shocked to see me CIA operative: and after this they dumped you into a lake? me: they didn't even slow down the ship

recent studies show that you have to be nice to me

i want my money back, this dictionary's definition for incorrect is wrong

welp, my ssi appeal was denied for the final time and my healthcare has been cut off, so fuck everything... gonna be homeless within 3 months due to rent increase, elec increase, internet increase and my dad's fixed income. fuck. everything.

me: I post on the internet to feel better about myself therapist: and that works? me: not really

it's not delivery it's digIOrno

Fun@funkelly.bsky.social · 2w ago

fucking frozen pizza ass lookin moon. making me wanna eat it. jerk.

They say pride goeth before a fall, but that wouldn’t happen to me

Time to clock in at the idiot factory

friend: ok, it's my first time watching the fast and the furious movies, so no spoilers me: omg there's so many spoilers

taking all the heavy music off my phone before going through the metal detector

(discreetly hands Treebeard an inhaler)

If I had a nickel for every time 90s genre television did lesbian selfcest, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

always asking the reason for the way things are is very why's

i will speak so fricken ill of the dead... what are they gonna do about it

I'm standing in lava and going "Oof!" "Ouch!" while the assembled volcanologists stand by in horror

For a limited time, commissions are 50%off!!! And AND if you tip me 50$ or more, you get to suggest the next piece ill post here for free!!

Did somebody mention having bones?

dude you GOTTA get your dick sucked

them: you have the heart of a worrier me: hell yeah i love battle them: no, you worry a lot me: you're right what if i am wounded by an arrow

"You don't deserve that many followers" Lol Lmao bitch, tell me something I don't know

🎶jack it up jack it up jack it up

Gef the Toking Mongoose@geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 4mo ago

cyberpunk has had its run now it's time for cyberska give me robot rudeboys and augmentations that turn your hands into trombones

(its bite causes necrosis and it is very effective at preventing pregnancy by devouring the male)

noted bones haver@noted.bones.haver.zone · 4w ago

combining animals with everyday apparel to create new and exciting wearables. duck waterproof jacket. alligator jorts. brown recluse condom

[sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start

One thing I do excel at is taking a compliment. "Yes, correct." "It's all true." "I'm pretty amazing, sure." "I know, right."

some people simply should not be allowed to use Computer

i've never had my post go viral. new to bluesky, was told this was the place to vent. i used grok and chatgpt to calculate how many bangers my friends got over the years. thousamds. literally full months of banger viral post action from their followers based on theor builds and money. im

Two year anniversary of when I first posted this comic

microwave popcorn on a budget (this is my 3d artwork)