finn mertens you’re like the one man i’d go straight for n im So sorry these dumb dykes don’t get it

you: hey man, where’s the, the fuckin, strainy thing? for the pasta? the strainer? your worst friend: oh do you mean the colander?

my circle small but we all jerking

im never gonna be able to get surgery on account of, everything, but it warms my cold gamer heart seeing everyone else get their shit together and making it happen

I can’t believe we have like 300 guys right now who regularly say shit like ‘Of course the possibility that I am the Antichrist has crossed my mind. And if that’s the case? So be it.’

FactPost@factpostnews.bsky.social · 3h ago

Vance: I'm trying to focus on doing as much of God's work as possible. And if that leads to the end times, okay

you have no idea how strong it is, the temptation to just swallow plum pits. i’ve done it enough that im 99.99999% sure it’s just gonna come out the other end! but my brain tells me, no, andrea, you have to be a grownup. you can’t eat the fruit rocks.

you gotta be a lil day drunk to make italian food good

this is one of my favorite reviews on all of letterboxd

my grand adopted city abt to beat the shit outta your grand adopted city in the basked ball or w/e

Philadelphia 76ers@sixersnba.bsky.social · 2h ago

we have signed Tacko Fall, Jameer Nelson Jr., and Saint Thomas. ✍️

powerful message about motherhood

this is why he’s my best friend this is why he’s on the Incredibly short list of mfs whose opinions i actually take into account on anything

cbd, aka Jimmy Neutral@cbd215.bsky.social · 2h ago

My greatest line ever was when I saw a trailer for TF1 and Arcee came on screen and I leaned over to Andi and said “call me William Afton the way I’m bouta put a child in that robot”

My greatest line ever was when I saw a trailer for TF1 and Arcee came on screen and I leaned over to Andi and said “call me William Afton the way I’m bouta put a child in that robot”

stable strategies@stablestrategys.bsky.social · 2h ago

transformer pussy got me goin wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt

none of you or me will ever make a joke abt transformers as funny as my friend casey when we saw spiderverse 2 and the trailer for transformers rise of the beasts played and he saw arcee and he leaned over to me and said “call me william afton the way i wanna put a child in that robot”

stable strategies@stablestrategys.bsky.social · 2h ago

transformer pussy got me goin wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt

transformer pussy got me goin wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt wrrt

Angels on the street

gandalf’s whole “do you take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks” thing is even funnier when you consider that if gandalf has anything that could be called a job besides “aura” and “a reputation that utterly precedes him” his only material gig is that he makes and sells magic fireworks. so. kinda, man

best scene in lotr gotta be when they’re trapped in a blizzard and boromir’s like “gandalf the hobbits are gonna fuckin freeze to death” and gandalf just rolls his eyes and pulls out a flask of elf liquor and makes them each take a sip and it gets them a lil white girl wasted and they keep going

it’s crazy to me how much fellowship of the ring reads like someone mythologizing a d&d game. like read everything after they leave the house of elrond and tell me it doesn’t feel like the party’s wizard is just main-charactering all over a story that wouldn’t really involve him otherwise

that’s because the truth is that the d&d wizard is optimized to let you play out a fantasy of being textually-accurate gandalf from the lord of the rings

lottie "frog k" lovely ⚧️🏴‍☠️@vaporlight.bsky.social · 3h ago

look magic systems are boring as hell. Look at D&D wizards. Their self-concept is that they're all about spreadsheet, chart for dinner, etc. You know what actually motivates them? Big number from stunts. The mage seeks the same delights in his world as a player of Tony Hawk Pro Skater

big hoodie and men’s gym shorts that somehow look like short shorts on your body. shoutout to the construction dude that whistled and told me i had “legs for days”

stable strategies@stablestrategys.bsky.social · 3h ago

funniest situation to get catcalled in gotta be when factually speaking every stitch on your body came from the men’s section. thanks, boys.

Transfem sub fantasy: accounting for my nature as the lowliest worm, they have invented a new kind of prison world where I get v-coded to big dick butches Transfem domme fantasy: I receive $100 thousand dollars Transfem switch fantasy: For The Next 24 Hours It Is Legal To Judge Me On My Own Merits

funniest situation to get catcalled in gotta be when factually speaking every stitch on your body came from the men’s section. thanks, boys.

stable strategies@stablestrategys.bsky.social · 3h ago

boymoding [wearin shorts even though it’s a Lil too chilly for it]

boymoding [wearin shorts even though it’s a Lil too chilly for it]

you all got that one mutual that’s Insane. i don’t. but y’all do

thats cool. im holdim out for a remake where you have to jerk it off More. i wanna hear sonic’s voice sayin “dirty girl” through the tinny-ass lil wiimote speaker

may@maysuser.name · 4h ago

secret rings and sonic 06 getting fan remakes that address their biggest issues is cool and all but i'm still holding out for a version of black knight that you don't have to jerk off the wii remote for the entire game

thinkin abt this pic of my grandpa and grandma my dad took one time. they argued a lot but it was always clear they loved each other deeply

Adding Steam achievements to the bible might actually motivate me to read the whole thing

jolene was just a projection of dolly's mind it was a tyler durden situation