saw a brand new sight driving back from the grocery store and there's something about two people riding a tandem bicycle at night that's so unwholesome

this mid 1700s engraving by Michael Seligmann based on an original engraving by naturalist George Edwards really captures how it feels to hold a cat

cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash? cop 2: he sent a post that reads "padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes" cop: not bad but it ain't going viral cop 2: posting isn't just about going viral cop: (sighs) not this shit again

I'm watching a nature documentary and love the confidence of this particular whale. she doesn't need anyone's permission

boomer white guy saying "you are a credit to your race" to a white guy with dwarfism

growing up in the 90s no one had even heard of 9/11

thinking about how small children in popular children's media are depicted with unrealistically good behavior with no tantrums/meltdowns with the notable exception of Caillou, who the whole world wants skinned alive

Babe Ruth at-bat and before the first pitch he points directly at you and makes a cut throat motion

messed up how Lucy always called Charlie Brown 'blockhead' even though his head is exceptionally round

soyboys stay winning

Mark Chadbourn@chadbourn.bsky.social · 4d ago

#Trumpflation price rises since the start of the year. Rice: +45% Cotton: +27% Wheat: +25% Wool: +21% Rubber: +20% Cheese: +16% Tea: +15% Sunflower oil: +15% Palm oil: +15% Lumber: +14% Soybeans: +13% (The Spectator Index)

whenever you see a scientific diagram of a vulva there will also be a little line labeling "Anus" and it's always like "haha yup"

me offering condolences and crying til the funeral ends

*sees cat on sidewalk" hey cutie! *crouches* pspspsps *cat walks away" whatever bitch you ugly anyway

just sent a poet on my dangerous expedition and they died because poets are ill suited to facing danger

high heels were men's fashion before becoming women's and I think the next arbitrarily gendered clothing switch up should be us fellas getting frilly parasols. we should never feel more manly than when we're twirling one of these

Dying at how evil this rat is

Every dollar spent on social services is, in some sense, a theft from the weapons industry

chatting up your two person bicycle girl with my elite style and carriage

3pm Friday mindset

Slate@slate.com · 5d ago

Dear How to Do It: I want to have sex with a new man—but he won’t tell me his name. I can’t tell if that’s a problem. slate.trib.al/n2PPQW6

found a gf for you

bully: hahaha! look everyone! he peed his pants! me: no I didn't! I peed YOUR pants! bully: what the-my dickies! *everyone points and laughs at the bully and the cool kids pat me on the back and give me high fives*

y'know til now I didn't think of the impact of the Onion buying Infowars on dumb dudes who've slapped that sticker all over their shit lol

Travis Miller@justtmill.bsky.social · 5d ago

Spotted on the Fullcast reddit. This is incredible levels of divorced:

Bad news for the 60 Minutes talent scouts

Democracy Now!@democracynow.org · 6d ago

U.S. Senate Unanimously Passes Bill Opposing Pardon for Ghislaine Maxwell

thank god the tsa intercepted the cannonballs before they could be fired at my fort

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 6d ago

At an airport in Alabama, TSA discovered five Civil War-era cannonballs in a passenger’s checked luggage.