How Many Stoats Is That?
@stoatamatic.bsky.social
converting measurements to stoats for March Mammal Madness! run by @deathbymustelid.bsky.social, avatar by @oddangel.bsky.social, banner by @mcmarmot.bsky.social
Did you know that you are living in a dream world and that the metric system and imperial units are a lie? It's time you wake up and learn about Stoats as Units of Measure #2025MMM #SmelltheStoats #StoatsasMeasure #MightyMustelids
Semi-feral Post Monger@dwaynefuhlhage.bsky.social · 2y agoThe March Mammal Madness Elite Trait goes live in an hour on the bad website. Here's more than you could possibly want to know about Stoats as Measurement: princesspricklepants.com/2019/02/02/p...
119,512,091 stoatlengths, which I would concisely round to 120 megastoatlengths
Aili@nilatti.bsky.social · 6mo ago@stoatamatic.bsky.social from my dad: "Artemis II reached 252,756 miles from earth. Measured in Wiener dogs: If you took 22-inch Dachshunds and laid them nose to tail, you’d need a very cooperative pack of 728 million dogs to cover the distance." #tinyNaturalist asks: "What's that in stoats?"
Nile Crocodile swims several whale-lengths, ~200 stoat-lengths, ahead of Humpback Whale intrigued by something ahead... #2026MMM
It's been a stoatal pleasure converting #StoatsAsMeasurement again for #2026MMM, love you all a stoatload!
Katie Hinde@mammalssuck.bsky.social · 6mo agoMMM no longer presents official spectator awards, but we do specifically thank @animordle.bsky.social for the games, @stoatamatic.bsky.social for letting us know how many stoats that is, @littlejems.bsky.social for the crowns & elder @natickbobcat.bsky.social for guidance & remembrance #2026MMM
That wildebeest mass drowning delivery of nutrients into the landscape is the biomass equivalent of ~40 Humpback Whale carcasses or 6.5 MILLION DEAD STOATS #StoatsAsUnitOfMeasurement #2026MMM marckissel.shinyapps.io/Stoat/
TWO TRILLION SQUARE STOATS
Erin Rowland-Schaefer@docrowschaef.bsky.social · 6mo agoSPECIFICALLY, the Eucalypt Forests of Murramarang Nat'l Park, Australia, site of one of the 10,000 wildfires that burned across Australia during the 2019-2020 Black Summer, scorching 59 million acres (93,000 square miles; 2 TRILLION square stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement) (Volkova et al 2025) #2026MMM
Elephant pauses briefly & glances in Oryx's direction. Calm & unbothered, he sways his trunk & continues to eat the rain-soaked vegetation. Mealtime for an elephant can last 17-19 hours a day as it consumes 150-200kg (~900 stoats ) of plants. (Vancuylenberg 1977) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2026MMM
Every day is hump day! Dromedary camels can be distinguished from the related Bactrian camels by the presence of only 1 hump. They are also slightly taller, with male camel shoulders reaching heights of 6.5 ft (or ~ 8 stoats) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2026MMM
Martinique Giant Rice Rat (aka Desmarest's pilorie) was a huge rodent (36cm head & body length, basically as long as a stoat, plus a long tail) that roamed it's namesake isle in the West Indies of the Caribbean (Miljutin 2010) #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
Baiji (aka the Yangtze River Dolphin) is a relatively small cetacean (167kg, 368lbs, just shy of 760 stoats) with a long snout that curves upward slightly, reminiscent of it's cousin the Amazon River Dolphin (Brownell & Herald 1972) #2026MMM #StoastsAsMeasurement
Stoats are a Least Concern on the IUCN Red List, but their famous winter-white molt does have them at risk of local extirpation, along with habitat loss. They thought passenger pigeons were forever at one point too! It's never too early to work to conserve native species you care about! #2026MMM
Katie Hinde@mammalssuck.bsky.social · 6mo agoTime has NOT run out, & each of us can make an impact on recovering our ecosystems & reducing our use- through our time, through our effort, through our political engagement, and through our thoughtful conversations with loved ones. #2026MMM
The two male Lions "Torn Ear" and "Dark Mane" look intensely at each other, sizing each other up. Lean and muscular, these males are in their prime and each weigh in at nearly 1000 stoats (220kg/485 lbs) #StoatsAsMeasurement. Their manes are also appropriately fluffy. #2026MMM
The @stoatamatic.bsky.social needed a night to start up. A weasel probably chewed through its cord #2026MMM
House mice can be up to 8 inches long from nose to tail (0.6 stoat length), but they are about half tail, and tipping the scales at 0.15 stoatweights (30grams), fur color ranges from light brown to black with white to buffy bellys. #2026MMM
Despite the universal nature and superiority of our metrics, we cannot convert the Dewey Decimal System to stoats. All numbers were converted to 599.74, which is the call number for The Natural History of Weasels and Stoats by Carolyn King #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
Male hippopotamuses reach weights of up to 3200 kg (over 14,500 stoats) & can open their mouths at an angle of 150 degrees to reveal impressive 20-inch (1.5 stoat) tusks. (Mason 2013) #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement #OpenWide
The much smaller (6 kg, or 27 stoats) Brown-throated Sloth has long forelimbs with three-clawed toes. Though its long, coarse hair is naturally gray, it may have a greenish tint due to the algae that grow in it. (Jung 2011) #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
Weighing in at 225-330kg (1500 stoats), the Roan Antelope has large horns, long ears, and a thick, sturdy, body. Known for being territorial in its grassland savanna habitat, this browser prefers to eat leaves over stems. (Roe 2002) #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
The Bornean Orangutan - Malay for "person of the forest" - is covered in shaggy red fur & tips the scales at 87kg / 39.5 stoats. His long arms- spanning over 7 feet!- help him move through his treetop (arboreal) forest habitat with ease. (Strobel 2013) #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
stoatistics will be delayed tonight but don't worry, I could never forget about them #2026MMM
An asteroid the size of 240 two-slice toasters is roughly equivalent to the mass of 1,071 stoats. However, if it’s 240 four-slice toasters, you looking at ~2,215 stoats. (Rounding up, because nobody wants pieces of stoats.)
Lordy, at 7 stoatlengths and a weight of 619 stoats, that is one stoataful Alligator Gar #StoatsAsMeasurement
Dr. Solomon David@solomonrdavid.bsky.social · 11mo agoBEHOLD the GARgantuan Alligator Gar!!! This is the largest Alligator Gar I’ve encountered; at over 7 feet 10 inches (240 cm) and approximately 55 inches in girth, its weight is estimated at 300 pounds (136 kg)! A true river monster, among the largest caught, tagged and safely released! #GarWeek
Stoats (Mustela erminea) undergo a molt twice a year, changing from brown to snow-white to blend in the snow. They don't store fat & must eat up to 25% of their weight per day (~50 g), mostly in rodents. Recent studies have found that they register an 11.7 on the cuteness scale (out of 10).
a small white animal standing in the snow looking at the camera
Alt: a small white stoat standing in the snow looking at the camera, then hopping away in giant strides.
media.tenor.com
A stoat is a form of measurement, as well as a cute little weaselly mammal! @stoatamatic.bsky.social #2026MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement
Dave B.@buckykatt.bsky.social · 8mo agoOlympics-watchers worldwide are wondering "What's a stoat?," and the NYTimes is ON IT. #2026MMM #stoats www.nytimes.com/2026/02/09/s...
I cannot quantify in stoats how much work is put into #2025MMM by volunteer storytellers, researchers, and artists. As somebody who from time to time does all three of those things for money, it can be a lot of effort! Thank you all for your contributions ❤️
Every time I get pinged for a stoat stat, it warms my little weasel heart #2025MMM
Katie Hinde@mammalssuck.bsky.social · last yr.And lastly, thank you to all the coMMMunity for being an essential facet of the MMMagic of this annual extravaganza. Thank you for being us. #2025MMM
