Fight Club is about a guy who gets so mad at ikea that he kicks his own ass
the hype
@thehyyyype.bsky.social
in a dumpster. i post about jason statham and the nba sometimes
Saying what the American people actually want is a ToS violation on here
Barack Obama@barackobama.bsky.social · 23h agoTonight, the American people sent a clear message — they want a politics that brings people together rather than divides them, and leaders who offer concrete solutions to the challenges they face.
Guys, we were just kidding! All the evil stuff we've been saying and doing for the past 2 years was just a joke! Cmon guys, please, we weren't serious. Please,
After a specific wealth threshold you shouldn't be allowed to vote or influence politics at all, and here's why: once you have a certain amount of money, your life isn't affected by the political process in any way, so you, in turn, shouldn't be able to affect the political process in any way either
Look, just because we've gained a momentary advantage over the virus doesn't mean we should try to destroy the virus. We should work side by side with the virus in hopes that it won't try to behave like a virus again in the near future.
Voters flipping states such as Texas and Kansas blue is like when an NBA player has been on fire all night so takes a heat check 3 and swishes it
Wife walks in wearing lacey lingerie: hey ;) Me: sorry babe, can't right now. My friends and I are laughing at republicans online
Grift machine value drops just as grift party gets hammered in the election. Surely this must be a coincidence
Polymarket@polymarket.extwitter.link · yesterdayBREAKING: AI stock futures plunge across the board as a Democratic blue wave takes shape in the midterm elections.
I don’t want Dems to find a way to move forward, or work together, or any of that. I want investigations, impeachments, and subpoenas. I want all these people to stand and to be held accountable for the harms they have caused in our community. I want justice.
In a crazy twist of events, voters were not swayed by an unqualified peanut brain whose entire platform was "my brother used to have this job so now I should get it"
Me explaining this election to my 97-year-old grandpa: ok so Elon Musk posted a bunch of Anakin Skywalker memes on X formerly twitter and now people are voting for gay rights and food Grandpa: all my friends died in the war
Today's election is answering the age-old question: is running a campaign on a platform of "we're evil dumbasses" a viable long-term strategy
garbageman just messaged me, all upset. says that i “haven’t put out any good garbage recently” and “am not taking garbage serious enough
If you vote, they let you go in the back and fuck the flag
the median voter is like “hell yeah I believe in Medicare for all. Also coal jobs, flat earth, abolishing ICE, bazooka rights, reiki”
Obviously Anakin is an accidentally perfect right-wing avatar because he's a school shooter, but also because he's constantly talking about the violence he would commit to protect his wife and ends up killing her himself
George: his palms are sweaty, Jerry. Knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, Jerry! Jerry: mom's spaghetti? George: MOM'S SPAGHETTI! [Kramer bursts in] Kramer: hey Jerry, you're making spaghetti?
it’s the legend of zelda ocarina of time to go to the polls
Thank you, Mr President, for teaching us to always give 110% effort
The Bulwark@thebulwark.com · 2d agoTrump: "I've kept every single promise I made except far more. I've actually kept far more promises than I made."
George: his palms are sweaty, Jerry. Knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, Jerry! Jerry: mom's spaghetti? George: MOM'S SPAGHETTI! [Kramer bursts in] Kramer: hey Jerry, you're making spaghetti?
Record producer: hi, I'm calling about the demo you dropped off last week, "Crying In The Shower" Me: oh great, yes, hello! Record producer: it... appears to be just 30 minutes of you crying in the shower... Me: yeah sorry, is there a question?
stranger asks you what time it is = annoying stranger asks you what year it is = concerning stranger asks you what century it is = exciting
professor x: what’s your superpower me: I can solve any equation professor 42: impressive