Is the opposite of a landlord a mermaid?

In fairness, I am always thinking the same thing around any dog, and that thought is “Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog! Dog!”

SKELLYTON@pizzalawyer420.bsky.social · 2w ago

YOU WILL BELIEVE A DOG CAN READ YOUR MIND

and Johnny Depp, whose career was NOT revived

One of us believes in a thing called love. The other believes in a thing called hate. You may listen to the rhythm of one heart.

Dante’s Inferno is such a wild thing to exist. Some guy named Dante wrote bible fanfiction that accidentally altered the mental image of the afterlife for something like a billion people.

Local plumbers two steps ahead of every university administrator in america 👏

Metin Seven (Moon Child's dad 🌝)@seven.eurosky.social · 3w ago

losing my mind at how ruthless this sentence is

So I’m looking at Disney+, and I’ve gotta ask, uh… hey gang, what are they looking at? Because that is not eye contact.

my grandma has a secret tuna casserole recipe that involves putting a hex on her mortal enemy, blanche.

national mall running like 3 frames per second

DGM@notredale.bsky.social · last mo.

lol

Today is the last day somebody has all of their fingers, and they don’t even know it yet.

You can tell I’m exhausted by the way my brain really wanted to dissect the question, “What if the vampire was named Trambapula?”

Have there been any other bands besides the Beatles where the band fully broke up and multiple members of the band went on to equally prolific careers? The closest I can think of is Genesis, but even that was more of a couple of baton passes rather than a full break-up.

Have there been any other bands besides the Beatles where the band fully broke up and multiple members of the band went on to equally prolific careers? The closest I can think of is Genesis, but even that was more of a couple of baton passes rather than a full break-up.

What are we supposed to call people that make YouTube Poops? Because I feel like asking “Have you seen this Pooper?” is going to get me funny looks at work.

✋🤚🏻The fish came in with their knives. ✋ 🤚🏻 They sliced up the paint. ✋🤚🏻 It was an Antifa swordfish, lotta people don’t know that ✋ 🤚🏻fish can have swords, but they can. ✋🤚🏻

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last mo.

Q: Are the contractors who did the initial work for the reflecting pool to blame for the condition of it? TRUMP: No no. We had vandalism. They went in there with a knife.

I think it says a lot about public perception of billionaires that, of all the unbelievable things about Batman, no one ever seems to ask, “Wait, shouldn’t he have like… a job to do?”

Programmer in the 80s: “We’ve done it! We’ve figured out how to let computers multiprogram at a consumer level! Think of all the wonders that technology can bring now!” Me in 2026: *cycling through the 40 tabs I have open trying to figure out which is autoplaying a fucking ad*

It's not often that a living man gets such a vivid preview of how he will be mourned.

Does this make the Rani the most successful Doctor Who villain? She’s somehow killed them twice.

Allegedly the banned-for-life list from the soon to shutter Parkview Tavern.

I guess I know one person who won’t be allowed in Congressional bathrooms anymore.

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 2mo ago

GOP Rep. Nancy Mace failed to advance in South Carolina’s gubernatorial primary, derailing one of the strangest political careers in recent memory

I’m just so happy that I don’t have to see Spencer Pratt and His Flesh-Colored Beard™️ for the next several months of my life.

Hi, I'm Oedipus. You might know me from Having Sex with My Mother but before that

Widow's Bay DSA@gonebabygone.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Deeply ominous ad

I do not regret to inform you that nithya raman will indeed be going to the runoff once this count is done

Nick Andert@nickandert.bsky.social · 2mo ago

HOLLLLLY shit LOL