Please look at your phone when I’m talking to you 👀

I don’t run this account, it runs me

"Let me collect my thoughts" I say as I walk out the door, never to be heard from again.

give a man a fish and he’ll selfie with it for dating sites

If you could read my mind I really wouldn’t.

Choosing the wrong late night snack could ruin your next day

Trying to write a Cha-Cha Slide type song with instructions that gets everyone to participate in my crypto scam.

Dear Mom, The other cowboys keep making fun of me for only eating the M&Ms out of the trail mix. Life sure is hard out here on the range. Love, Your littlest cowboy

give a man a fish and he'll look at you suspiciously and ask what happened to the chips

give a man a fish and he'll probably eat it i don't know what else he would do it's one fish bro let it go

I am terrible with remembering names. So, if I call you Shrek, that's why.

Currently perplexed

“the party never ends” - me, chillin with myself on vacation

Stop. You had me at “Let’s leave before it gets crowded.”

That new razor burn feeling

if you’re in line to stay in line, STAY IN LINE

my love language is out-grandiose’ing your work-friend’s boyfriend’s grandiose gestures

The night out loud.

You're never alone when you're on bluesky. <allegedly>

Put down the thing I'm not using before picking up another thing challenge (impossible)

The world has ended. Society has collapsed. Packs of dogs run through the empty city streets. And I'm running with them going "guys am I doing this right? Guys? Guys???"

It’s the nuisance telepathy that gets me.

I am a child born from under the elusive rock

Don’t do shit for people who aren’t doing for you!!

your doomsday scenario or mine

Good thing, I can find humor in everything and be easily entertained just sitting and watching absolute unhinged bullshit.

Now it can be you and your 99 alts

Bluesky@bsky.app · 22h ago

Update: group chats can now host up to 100 members.