Median UK voter in 2026, as predicted by Hugh Laurie some decades ago:

binged all of Funboys this week, wonderful disgusting brilliant show and a Robot Wars themed episode that rivals (surpasses?) Spaced

I am very sorry, deeply deeply sorry, but "Grass is like human beings. Grass has a life also." is immediately in the top 10 funniest things he's said

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 7d ago

Trump: "Grass is like human beings. Grass has a life also. And we're changing, raking, cleaning, and changing all of the parks."

SKETCH COMEDY REUNION KLAXON! It's the first time Tom, Tobi and I (AKA Sad Faces) have done something together since our last Edinburgh show in 2015, and I'm SO glad we put the unpleasantness of our very public falling out behind us to do this hilarious show! Do give it a listen NOW!

Tom Crowley@atomcrowley.bsky.social · 5d ago

The Crowley Time improvised summer spin-off is here and it's FACES OF CONQUEST! A billionaire seeks out other achievers (bastards) and interviews them. Episode 1 comes via my old Sad Faces sketch buddies @jackbern.bsky.social and @tobiwilsonline.bsky.social and BOY did we have fun! crowleytime.com

The Crowley Time improvised summer spin-off is here and it's FACES OF CONQUEST! A billionaire seeks out other achievers (bastards) and interviews them. Episode 1 comes via my old Sad Faces sketch buddies @jackbern.bsky.social and @tobiwilsonline.bsky.social and BOY did we have fun! crowleytime.com

UEFA spokesperson Dietmar Fumm said to reporters "This decision effectively signals that Gianni Infantino is an enemy of world football". tl;dr: FIFA "foe" - Fumm

[me telling my story how I fought in the Trojan War] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called Achilles, Achiles] was Adrian Chiles there?

Look at us next to @jackbern.bsky.social on the *main fricking fiction* homepage on Apple Podcasts. A lovely poetry to be featured together after our time in the dungeons of the Dead Ringers room together. I am bawling.

A croissant that actually melted in your mouth would be disgusting. you take a bite and it instantly dissolves into croissant juice on your tongue. you try to chew and your teeth find no purchase on the sudden reservoir of liquified pastry. you try to scream, sound replaced by flaky wet. nightmare

(quiet voice) this is actually fine, I expected it to be about policy but it's just baseball nonsense. obviously he hasn't engaged with it in the slightest beforehand and annoyingly that's quite relatable, if any other president did that it would probably be charming

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w ago

"That's what they give me to read, so what can I tell you? ... I don't know what the hell that means" -- Trump is surprised by the stuff he's straight up reading from the text that was prepared for him

heard Bryan Johnson cloned himself as a newborn but the newborn just started ripping the piss out of him immediately and now Bryan's locked himself in his Eternatoilet to have a tantrum and do a really angry poo

King Arthur when his court wizard snubs Guinevere

before he was Scrooge he was Ebenezer, of course. But what people don't know is that AFTER he was Scrooge he went through a brief period where he was legally known as an unpronounceable symbol as part of a long running dispute with his record label

do you think if Dickins knew how many adaptations of A Christmas Carol he'd have put more thought into the name Ebenezer Scrooge Jebediah Flunge Absalom Hinge Cornelius Plunge Ezechiel Cooch Habakkuk Luge that's the level you're playing at Charlie. put some goddamn effort in

I first heard this song less than 48 hours ago and I've probably had it go around my head close to 400 times, I'm losing my goddamn mind, every five seconds my brain shouts BING BONG ON ME HEAD www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCz0...

Untitled in B Flat Major

YouTube video by Skinwigs - Topic

youtube.com

you still have zoidberg YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG

Chris Vannini@chrisvannini.com · 2w ago

What's a Futurama line that lives forever in your head? Mine is, "Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm My Own Grandpa."

Bill Oddissey, is that anything

[slowly sinking into the Atlantic ocean] to be fair he was right, the deckchairs do look a lot better now

[creepily] damn he's going for good growth in EVERY postcode, if you catch my drift

“Here he comes, Earl. … Remember, be gentle but firm … we are absolutely, positively, NOT driving him south this winter.”

thank god she's still culture secretary, can you imagine how the arts would struggle without the right honourable Lisa Nandy, it doesn't bare thinking about

This remains one of the most surreal, but lovely, moments of my entire life. RIP to a brilliant man youtu.be/Ud7Uti74yvo?...

Kevin Keegan reads @GalacticKeegan

YouTube video by Galactic Keegan

youtu.be

amazed Simon didn't do this, surely this is how all Golden Glove recipients celebrate

Trump during the Spain celebrations

fun fact: if you give it a perfect high five it slowly turns into a thumbs up like at the end of Terminator 2

Matthew Garrahan@mattgarrahan.bsky.social · 2w ago

Weirdest looking trophy in sports

oh no guys I'm hearing that FIFA have used Rule 27.1 to derogue that Torres goal, the match is still going, they're going to restart the match after a quick 150 minute post full time show starring Vanilla Ice, Kid Rock and that voice actor from Bob's Burgers who went to 6 January

No chance, watching it the first time was tedious enough

Graceful losers 🙏🏼

love them or loathe them, there's one thing you can't deny about the Argentinian football team: they're a bunch of cunts