local goblin! 🐡
@goblinesque.bsky.social
i'm a yapper 🗣 i'm a napper 🛌 i'm a late night snacker 🥪 [spooky pfp by scom! 🐸]
getting reports that crab man is iridescent. but they're all shades of green
i’m like a conscientious objector when it comes to having a job
thou hast been blessed by the ibuprofen knight praise be ⚔️💚
it's 11am and I am sipping a canned cocktail and leisurely levelling a Tauren while I wait for my laundry to finish
pretty sure i stopped growing up at 12, i think all of my problems stem from the fact i am 12
"The only way to survive a deadly blaze is... Oh, heck, life's too short for fire safety. Let's go outside and pick wild flowers."
I had a stress dream the other night that we moved into an apartment that had a bad aura BUT EVEN MORESO a kitchen we hated bc it was small, had no dishwasher(!), had a large illogical diagonal column in the middle of the room, and several small fridge-freezers (cont.)
my boss told me recently he uses me as a success story bc I have really excelled and flourished me, shitting and wheezing in terror: yea!
so incredibly stressed at work I want to scream and scream and scream
[at the teddy bears' picnic] thank you for coming to my TED talk
i want salt. i want pepper. condiments will make it better.
yesterday I saw a baby seagull trying to eat the cardboard box a disposable vape comes in. the children truly do yearn for vapes
When you're knackered and miserable you should just be allowed to be knackered and miserable and not have to stop being knackered and miserable near other people, who either make a face about it or try to cheer you up because their flesh is untested and their spirit is weak.
for me the only downside of playing Horde is I can never set my hearthstone to Ironforge 💔
warhammer what's next conflict screwdriver?
airplane stewardess: the pilot has collapsed! does anyone know how to fly a plane? tech bro: i do. *in the cockpit* tech bro: okay, anime girl chatbot. how do i fly a plane grok: have you tried killing yourself