Just passed the season’s first spirit Halloween, can’t wait to stop by to buy the most terrifying costume of 2026: bagged salad mix

suspiciously green bananas is sadly one of the funniest things i’ve read in awhile

People talk a lot about the causes of declining birth rates, but it's really simple. People used to need enough kids to put on a touring Shakespeare production - maybe six, even eight. But with the rising popularity of Samuel Beckett? Two is sufficient.

Brilliant letter from Stuart Thompson to Jeremy Clarkson about his comments that benefit claimants should write weekly thank you letters to tax payers detailing how they spend their benefits each week.

Men's current fashion being advertised on my timeline. Talk about going back in time. One retailer called it 'retro', another 'medieval'. Makes me think of jello molds and bowling clubs.

@o2bnobx.bsky.social Thought of you

Two senators on their way out the door. Nothing left to lose. Total leverage. And they traded it for a memo. A piece of paper. Cornyn and Tillis folded like lawn chairs, and everybody knew they would. Again.

I am admittedly rage-posting now, but come the fuck on! Can we have an actual conversation about what we are doing as a country?

Breasts make the world go around. That’s what my dead sister used to say. She never sprouted any of her own, and that tormented her. She was a bad girl; and it was hard for her to be true to her nature when she felt she had nothing to peddle.

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

Friendly pro-tip: "Foolish mortals" is a gender-neutral form of address

Everything is a distraction from the Epstein files

“What do the Epstein brothers have on you, Barton?” “Nothing. Maybe a few crypto trades… and my name is Barron.” “Nobody cares, Barton.”

Mother swan with her adorable cygnets getting a ride on her back, brilliant !

I, genuinely, don't care if Luxon is an affable, inoffensive, conversationalist, I do care that he's a toxic, weak, and callous Prime Minister. Remember the wise words of Drunk Bloke in The Toad Rock Retreat pub, Rusthall, April 2022, "just because he's a nice person doesn't mean he's not a cunt"

If the lid gets blown off the Epstein case and powerful men go to prison, Phang will join Woodward and Bernstein on the Mount Rushmore of journalism.

Phang: "The fact that it's taking France and England and other foreign countries to be able to launch investigations, and yet our American DOJ is sitting on it doing absolutely nothing, including not cooperating with those foreign nations, is such a big red flag."

Jason @benedictsred.bsky.social and I were watching England v Argentina this week, when my mom spotted David Beckham in the stands. She quite seriously said, "Is that Burt Reynolds?," at which point Jason replied, "Bend it like the Bandit," and that's really all the World Cup news you need

Phenomenal song, in that every word is a nonsense word made to sound like an Americanism. Not thrilled about this priapic video version. The other video of the song is better, but still odd. It WAS 1972.

Glasgow Kiss@xanderglasgow.bsky.social · 3d ago

They don’t write them like this anymore. Thank fuck. youtube.com/watch?v=fU-w...

Person in my doorway: Hey! Me: *not looking up* I finished 10 minutes ago and emailed it to you Person: Thanks! Um. Just one more thing-- Me: *looks up slowly, sky begins to darken outside, lightning strikes in the distance*

I worked for New York’s largest medical center at the start of the pandemic. There were morgue trucks on the streets. They set up emergency medical tents in Central Park. Healthcare worker colleagues died. It is horrific that RFK Jr is on national TV lying that ICUs were empty.

'Droit du seigneur' anyone? Or "jus primae noctis: 'right of the first night'. (Feudal lord has the right to sleep with a vassal's bride) We know that's what he's thinking.

Professa Murray@kalimurray.bsky.social · 3d ago

To the extent that the media is treating this as a horse story: Max Miller is not a some random candidate from Ohio. This is a picture of President Trump speaking at the wedding of Max Miller and Emily Moreno.

Jeff Danziger cartoon

Get a job, you lazy cadaverous husk of a person. Who cares if you can't stand up, vomit frequently, are in constant pain, and have diarrhea? So many jobs require that. 😱

Mrs. Betty Bowers@mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 4d ago

The lazy sociopath who golfs instead of working (on, say, a plan to win a war with Iran) wants terminally ill patients to work for benefits they’re entitled to.

The numbers were emblazoned with letters. 🤣

To be fair, turning a blind eye to abuse is kind of Gym’s thing

The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 5d ago

“Should Max Miller resign?” Jim Jordan: “He’s a good man. I’m helping him get re-elected.” Kasie: “He’s accused of throwing boiling water on his ex, held a gun to her head, fractured their daughter’s collarbone…”🤔 Jordan: *stammers helplessly as she plays his Platner comments*

this owl has just about had it with the bullshit and me too

Divider The End is Nigh Trump’s illegal war will blow it all to kingdom come. #ImpeachConvictRemove #GTS #ProudBlue #ResistanceUnited #Voices4Victory #DemVoice1 @nytimes.com 🎁 How the Houthis Cornered Saudi Arabia into a New Conflict www.nytimes.com/2026/07/27/w...