Kirsty MacColl, Shane MacGowan, George Michael and now Chris Rea have all died at Christmas. If I was Mariah Carey I'd stop leaving the house in December just in case.

Marvel at my bush

Andrew, you have been evicted. It's time to leave your big brother's house

ABBA singing about divorce: 'I don't wanna talk about things we've gone through' Lily Allen singing about divorce: 'wait until you hear what he sticks up his bum'

Been a long, hard but lovely few days saying goodbye and remembering the wee force of nature that is my ma but now I think I need a week or two's sleep. How lucky we were! The less said about me almost falling into the open grave this morning the better.

What a letter.

I don't know how to say this other than if Vito Coppola put me through a pasta maker, boiled me in hot water and covered me in bolognese sauce I'd still thank him #strictly

Me in Vito's dressing room before the #strictly final

I've always had so much space in my heart for Lisa Kudrow, but oh my goodness she's ASTOUNDING in No Good Deed. The first Netflix show I've binged in one session in forever because it's just so darkly funny and unpredictable.

You've heard of elf on the shelf but what about Carol on a barrel?

Thanks to #imaceleb I've gone from not caring one way or the other about Coleen Rooney to thinking we should abolish the monarchy and appoint her head of state.

This is what Kirsty MacColl meant when she said they've got cars big as bars

What If by Kate Winslet deserves what All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey gets.

Evening before the Marriage referendum, Sinead O’Connor called me worried cos she couldn’t find her passport and was afraid they wouldn’t let her vote (as if I was an expert in such things!). I asked if she was voting at her local station, and said “I think you’ll be grand! You’re Sinead O’Connor!”

59 years today since my parents got married and 8 years tomorrow since my poor wee da died so as usual I'm laughing at this picture of the day they got engaged, thankful that I only have the third worst hair in the family.

I listened to the new Band Aid remix so you don't have to — and the nicest thing I can say about it is that it's only five minutes long

To be fair she does look like a chicken.

35 years of age and my mind has been blown because someone pointed out WKD is Wicked with ice in it. Like... wICkEd.

Wicked (2024)

Ah, yes, all the classic take-away cuisines…

Can we start a thread of great Irish election posters? Starting with the wonderful “Make crime illegal”. #ireland #irish #wonderfulelectionposters

What an enterprising young chap.

@kathyburke.bsky.social not a big believer of fate but there must be something to me getting your follower notification while watching you nab poor dead Edwina's long johns in Blitz

You scumbag, you maggot

Everyone posting John Prescott eulogies but all I can think about is the Nicola Roberts b-side Disco Blisters and a Comedown with the lyrics 'why do the lights in the kebab shop make this guy look less hot? He's looking like John Prescott.'

One of my favourite ever political quotes RIP John Prescott

“Be sure to set me to ‘delicate,’ Alison. It’d be a shame to ruin that sweater, you know, in case it ever comes back in style.”

Ross being mauled by a cat out on the balcony while everyone else is singing campfire songs is a very good visual representation of the difference between Twitter and Bluesky

Bolognese are coming Bolognese are coming

Susie Dent logging onto social media to comment on current affairs