Wearing a HR Monitor while taking a poo

@thepenismightier4.bsky.social

there's, like, zero messaging coordination going on with this white house now. we're three months out from a midterm that's looking increasingly bad, and everyone's just tap dancing their way through because president grandpa doesn't know what day it is and can't stay awake long enough to learn

GOLIKEHELLMACHINE@golikehellmachine.com · 23h ago

vance should be legally required to wear a hot dog costume in every public appearance until the war is over

I think what we're seeing around the internet right now, vis a vis AOC & her ex-boyfriend & her eggs, is just a tiny, tiny, tiny sliver of the absolute madness that will break out if she runs for president. No matter how f'ing weird you think people will be about it, they will be much, much weirder.

America is simply weird & fucked up about women. Even more weird & fucked up about beautiful women. Even more weird & fucked up about beautiful women of color. Even more weird & fucked up about highly intelligent, articulate, opinionated beautiful women of color. The weirdest & fucked upest ...

I love the way the media pitches Democratic primaries “between the party’s left and center factions” as somehow more concerning than Republican primaries between the party’s crazy and fully delusional factions.

if i were a dem politician asked about hasan piker i would simply say “i will answer your question about the twitch streamer no one has heard of but first i would like to point out the president was best friends with the worlds most notorious child rapist and yall stopped asking him about that”

can you imagine a democratic politics that doesn't center around the idea that voters are dumb as shit and you have to work within whatever scraps of information you assume they may have about whatever policy question

that's what Trump is about. the white supremacists realizing that white supremacy is now really a partisan endeavor and that the other side will in fact take the country somewhere else if they can.

there’s a whole fucking category of ill advised thoughts that go through everyone’s head on a constant basis, things that have no justification or are meaner or stupider than you want to appear, and learning not to say those things because of *how they make you sound* is part of being an adult

For the purpose of "allowed to feel sad about it", 9/11 only happened to white people who were at least 3 states away. For the purpose of "required to perform sadness about it," it happened to everyone (but those people in the first group get to decide if you're offensive no matter what you perform)

“hey that thing youre all enjoying relies on just a touch of good faith. some prick could exploit that. i could exploit that. i would get invited on podcasts and its just for your own good. i need to be a prick to show you that someone else (not me) might be a prick about this”

Why is everyone surprised the US lost 23 thousand jobs in July? You have cut tourism in half. Other countries are turning their business elsewhere to avoid tariffs. No one can afford housing, new vehicles etc. Come on. This shouldn’t be a surprise.

I am so tired of having the stupidest, shittiest fucking people in the heights of power. Like, they’re doing damage and hurting people and that is genuinely the salient point but their fucking stupidity and complete lack of anything resembling taste is fucking infuriatingly obnoxious and I hate it.

“The 22 babies born in New York City while the World Trade Center burned will never know what they missed. The last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party for rich kids, compared to what's coming now. The party's over, folks.” -Hunter S. Thompson ~2 weeks after 9/11