i agree with the key point here and will add to it that there IS a reward, it’s knowing you did one right thing instead of walking around plagued by the nameless shame that afflicts all men who are determined to live the most frictionless lives possible
i worry that men think being A Good Guy is dramatically and heroically intervening on behalf of an endangered woman and then being publicly rewarded on a grand scale when actually being A Good Guy is just usually saying, “hey man that’s not funny” or “wow that’s fucked up” and there is no reward