Proofread my posts? I don’t do that

This just in. People discover shade.

It’s not box wine, it’s cardboardeaux.

Currently perplexed

i made a scary face at myself in the mirror and now i think im possessed by the spirit of evil

You're never alone when you're on bluesky. <allegedly>

I can finally say that I'm hung like a horse.

I am terrible with remembering names. So, if I call you Shrek, that's why.

Tubi is basically just old movies with online casino ads

Growing out my pubes

You miss 100% of the sex you never get

My parents taught me to turn the lights off as a child and now they leave them on all the time!

Her: "Can you draw me a bath?" Me: "Absolutely, my love." *grabs a pencil and a piece of paper Her: *exasperated sigh* "I'm gonna take a shower."

😩😫are these orgasm face emojis

Have you met my friend, Girthana?

Vicks is just spicy vaseline

Someone once slid into my DMs with a picture of a bat vagina. No one since has ever come close to topping that absolute baller move.

What's a diet that will help me lose weight but also allow me to continue eating handfuls of chocolate chips out of the bag?

I slid into your DMs because your posts are so lolz coded

You're making her car payment and she's in my DMs calling me Beard Boy. Please, come get her.

Don't worry, Boomer. I doubt anybody wants to DM you.

Imagine hating me and I'm just over here being a silly little guy

I'm not a safe space I'm a tomb of uncertainty

This new green glitter mix is sexy af

So, reporting an account called, "youareastupidbitch" for replying to a woman's comment with "You are a stupid bitch" isn't considered bullying? Wtf Instagram

Clothing ads on July 31: "Get ready for fun in the sun! Cool sandals and swimwear for your hot summer vacay!" August 1: "Stock up on turtlenecks and jackets for the whole family, it's fucking freezing!"

Northern Pearly Eye resting on a branch…

This is such a dumb fucking movie😂

The Real Beardium@beardium.bsky.social · 2d ago

I'm watching Dracula 3000 if you wanna come over

I would rather have a root canal than listen to country music...or Rush....or U2.