The grumbles in my tummy is my own personal oracle

(calmly smashes the spider in my yoga mat) I’m so zen

They're summoning shit again

if bsky seems slow tonight it’s probably just your psych meds

your honor, that's my emotional support 475 tabs

Having a piss war on a stick against the neighbors dog

ask me my thoughts on putting a condom on someone else

Solved a rubik's cube but the void in my heart is ever present

Such an overachiever that I got a head start on my seasonal depression in August.

Summer was nice but now I'm back to work at this damn school

is it woah or whoa? i dont want to piss off this horse

If I take too long in your bathroom don’t worry, I’m cleaning your sink

I feel I know you poorly enough I can be honest with you

Tried the old 'dick in the popcorn' trick but she immediately noticed all the blood.

[me when I'm trying to keep my whimsy] who the fuck gives a fuck

The mushrooms that devour my body are going to have the worst trip

Not now, urgent bodily function

Picking any kind of berries feels like I'm neutering a plant

the two wolves inside me saw you from across the bar and they were wondering if you wanted to try and make them howl

Answering the knock at my front door of my house by yelling OCCUPIED.

I wonder what kind of Gatorade hummingbirds would like

the church bells nearby drop the beat at about 7:05 pm *twerk twerk*

Ah yes bring me the harvested souls (cooking eggs)

I will be writhing beneath a rock in the cold dark earth if you need me

lofi beats to crawl into the sewer to

I'm covered in gooseflesh and don't know what to do with the carcasses

not to be too political but my left boob is a little bigger

How much rolling around do i have to do to burn off the calories from eating the entire internet?

Sorry I missed you. I did so deliberately so I could continue eating my hair.

Did you have to use sandpaper to get your brain so smooth?