I wish I could shazam a smell

I'm the last person who should weigh in on other people's fitness but I think Ariana could benefit from licking a few more donuts.

I'll bet AI is sick & tired of hearing "speak with a representative."

As an empath, I can sense when a bear is mauling me

One time I was listening to a recording of Tibetan monks throat-chanting and I swear I heard one of them throw a "Luke. I am your father" in there.

She was rare like a film about above board narcotics cops.

Where does ear wax come from? Nocturnal bees?

Saturdays are for sick memes and your diaper nurse.

Someone mentioned scanning books for AI then destroying them. This theme (along with others) was covered in Rainbows End by Vernor Vinge 20 years ago. Great read that still holds up.

SHARK Week? I thought they said SHART Week! OMG! Man alive! Boy oh boy! Have I got some 'splainin' to do!

I feel like the song “let’s get it on” may be about sex

Has anyone checked The Pickle Parlor? It's possible Mitch has been pickled for safekeeping.

Qasim Rashid, Esq.@qasimrashid.com · 2w ago

Mitch McConnell hasn’t been seen or heard from in 6 weeks(!) in the hospital. Yet he still has a job, still getting paid, and getting unlimited world class healthcare. The man who voted against a living wage, against universal healthcare, and against guaranteed paid leave—is now getting all three.

Would you let me adjust the seat, the steering wheel, the mirrors and the sound system in your car?

Can I sit in your lawn chair?

Be honest. Am I fat or husky?

People keep asking for a pic of me in glasses. These are cartoon glasses but I still kinda like them.

Here's a photo of me in my Daisy Duke Levi 501 cutoffs circa 1987

Once again folks. It ain't a MAGA hat. It's a FENDER hat. The guitar & amp people.

Did you not see the cc's?

Schrödinger's Glory Hole ~ The thought experiment/paradox in which a man finds himself simultaneously existing on both sides of a glory hole.

Me: Be kind, you never know what someone is going through. Also me: "Nice turn-signal fuck face."

I bought a U2 GPS and it's garbage. The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

LG: I AIN'T DEAD UNTIL I SAY I'M DEAD!! BK: I LIKE BEER!!

So what's the latest on Schrödinger's Senator?

I've got a pretty solid Tuesday vocabulary according to the NYT crosswords. I have to work* a little harder on the other days. *cheat a bit

Looking forward to the day Honest Don fucks with Mt Rushmore. It will be a monumental fiasco. He'll hire a bumbling contractor pal who will blow the nose off Abe Lincoln and they'll blame it on antifa vandals.

Happy Birthday America! And humble apologies for putting the man in charge in charge. Please forgive us.

A poignant reminder