crouton eater

@croutoneater69.bsky.social

second coming of christ whos blocked by my middle school bible teacher on twitter Hard-core goth posers n preps dni

I love Boston. It’s so exotic. I’m sitting in a coffee shop and the male barista just said “it’s always been hard for me to be fully homophobic because my moms are lesbians”

Just heard a woman do that classic ojousama laugh in a cafe, as just her normal laugh, repeatedly. I did not know such a woman really existed. My partner looked up in shock, his coffee mug frozen at his lips, and we just stared at one another in silence.

“You never told me why you transitioned. Was it the dysphoria,” asked my wife. “No, not really.” “Societal perceptions? Body mods?” “Nope.” “Well, what was it then?” “I want to be better at magjrr…,” I mumbled. “At what?” “At MAGIC THE GATHERING,” I shouted, tears streaming down my face.

I just hate hot takes man, I hate the way they’re written, I hate how dumb they are, I hate that nobody checks in on their own theories to check if they were correct. I hate looking at peoples shit hot takes!!

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I honestly don’t know if I’d even vote for the Bluesky zoomer running for Congress over the incumbent but I’m considering donating 20 bucks to her just because she’s making 10% of the people on here so angry for hilarious reasons

I dunno why I still let these "reasonable concerns" freaks who spend months pretending to be on the fence before revealing they have always been anti-trans extremists get to me. Why are they so uniquely frustrating?

few things are more entertaining than seeing the "american" section of a grocery store somewhere else in the world and it's just 14 types of candy and jarred hot dogs. like yep, nailed it

whenever i see people posting their own “ACAB includes ___” posts i get PTSD flashbacks to 4 years ago when i posted a police car themed children shopping cart and a segment of twitter genuinely got enraged at me for it

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great news everyone, after receiving one (1) unemployment check i have been "randomly selected" for a mandatory miserable, worthless bureaucratic nightmare reemployment assistance program that i have to complete or they'll dump me from unemployment

being the richest person in the world and the president of the united states can’t even stop this guy from continuing to crash out

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they’re arresting people for performing abortions, they’re deporting people for liking pro-palestine posts on social media, they’re sending immigrants to forced labor camps in south america, we are living under fascism right now

Having a dream where I’m forcibly injected with an unknown substance multiple times against my will SOUNDS hot in the right context, but I can assure you that it was very much a traumatic experience and not an erotic one.