Oh my God just walked in on Haley Stevens eating a rat she was clutching to her face. This was in Dearborn
Queef or Cweef [kweef] (n.) 1. A piece of useful information not generally known; a dodge. 2. A conjuring trick; a mesmerist’s or conjurer’s sleight-of-hand pass. 3. An engaging girl.
One time i filled a mayonnaise jar with vanilla pudding and sat in the break room eating it with a spoon. A coworker came in and immediately power puked as soon as she saw me. Then a memo went around abt how pranks are illegal in the workplace. She never forgave me for it but in my defense: funny af
A coworker was in a car accident and came in wearing a neck brace. I felt like I was in a sitcom all day because I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in real life
I’ve never been a cocaine liker but booger sugar is one of my favorite drug terms
Lady at work just pulled out of the parking lot BLASTING the intro to kung fu fighting
![Dan White @atdanwhite • 2021-06-17
So funny that this ad is not for the shirt. Nothing to do with the shirt. Shirt isn't even mentioned. We're just supposed to pretend that's a normal shirt.
[screenshot of a post from citi with rashida jones hawking a credit card while wearing the most billowy tim and eric awesome show great job wardrobe button-down collared shirt imaginable. you could probably fit two of her in it to forcibly resolve an inter-rashida conflict. the shirt is a bit much]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vzh3zzjcbamllzjadsmfooxq/bafkreidwtx2a6lpadsbtw4cimi5mijhvzethfutfzck6myeswl6i7m474i)
“Computer: perform humor for me” is fundamentally anti-human behavior
Gay N Goforth Groom Illinois, County Marriages, 1810-1940
hmm. interesting. would you say it damn near killed him?
The Mirror@mirror.co.uk · 4mo agoOne of Spain's top bullfighters has been left with a "very serious" injury after a bull's horn inflicted a 10cm gore that perforated his rectum.
Mewy Lewis wondering why storm sirens are blasting loudly
Ads on the back of fortunes in fortune cookies. Piss off
i vetted this to make sure it wasn’t ai so you could enjoy it fully
Weiner Kummer New York, Passenger Arrival Lists (Ellis Island), 1892-1925
I paid over $4 a gallon for gas today and it felt great. Don't know what all the bitching is about. That's my country I'm paying for. I sprayed some around the parking lot 'cause that's my goddamned right. Jesus died for this price. I drank some.