(explaining Bsky to my cat) No, but there is a different exchange rate for hotness versus irritating versus funny, here than in real life... so, like i have to be 18% funnier here to be as annoying as i am. Or show boobs/butt 8% more often Cat: oh, so do i... Me: you're a cat you can do NO wrong

Looked around at everything I should do today and decided I’m feeling too Beyoncé for any of this shit.

*pokes AI with a stick* Come on, do a Skynet.

i do not agree to your terms and/or conditions

Flowering Smooth Brome Grass

I warned him not to play Wonderwall

Care bears stole my hoodie

"Go to Mars!" they said, “Visit the moon, see the stars, here's your oneway ticket."

Asserting dominance over the horses with a rap battle

Ghosts be like, "Nice house you've got here, would be a shame if blood ran down the walls and you vomited wasps."

“what is brunch, really? is it breakfast that is served at lunch time or a combination of breakfast food with lunch food like an egg on a hamburger?” waitress tapping her pencil: “i really don’t know sir. how would you like your eggs?”

Resting deer man and his friend, the bird horse. #joncarling #drawing #art

If you see this post your dragons! 🐲

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid: Tohru Hugs Kobayashi

Alt: Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid: Tohru Hugs Kobayashi

static.klipy.com

Scalawag Jack@scalawagjack.bsky.social · 3d ago

If you see this post your dragons! 🐲

'You Blew Me Away' by sculptor Penny Hardy, sculpture made from upcycled scrap metal, to create a piece which signifies renewed life and energy #WomensArt

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago

I’d wear matching pajamas with you.

I kinda dislike how often smut for women gets framed as like “yearning for freedom from everyday patriarchy and abuse” I think it’s okay to just want to get railed by a dragon for regular sex reasons lol

i don't alway commit crimes, but when i do, it's on horseback 🐴

That was long story long and now I have to remember everything or you'll be offended? Lol

I look like I'm listening but my remaining brain cells are fighting over the last slice of pie.

Format jokes? In this economy?

Hyperbole will get you everything everywhere all at once.

Donut November is a lot easier than I was led to believe.

Who called it reptilian sexual fascination and not the girl with the dragon taboo

In lgbt swim club news we had a member leave because he did a tarot reading and realised he was heterosexual

i don't know man, "infinity" pool sounds kind of tiring

Netflix and emperor penguin?

When emperor penguins mate the female leaves childcare responsibilities to the male & disappears for 6 months. The first thing she does on return is to regurgitate semi-digested fish into his mouth & if I can't have that I don't want it.

Would you like to go out to dinner? Would you like to go grab some food? Maybe we can go get dinner? 'k you've got this ... ... "Hi. You should put things in my mouth"