Close to our bows, strange forms in the water darted hither and thither before us; while thick in our rear flew the inscrutable sea-ravens.

It has been an infinite amount of rumors and time and we're still discussing it like it's the only plausible theory of an origin for hot bio-gossip, but existence did not just walk home after a "bang of shame"

Old broken things are better than new things that work.

Immersed in the ridiculousness.

the school nurse can't give my kid a Motrin for his headache yet there's a significant amount of Americans convinced school nurses are doing bottom surgery on kids

listen Purity Ring, I'll tell you the same thing I told Alice Deejay 26 years ago, yes I think I'm better off alone

this is a judgement freeze own

Less politics, more stupid shit. Keep hanging on and hanging in.

Why hate yourself when you can have someone else do it?

tactical flip flops

dont mistake my weakness for kindness

no, I didn’t see that show you’re watching no, I won’t watch it

one time several years ago on the internet I used whose and who’s wrong and I still haven’t recovered

it was the camel toe of times it was the moose knuckle of times

I would hold so many grudges if I had a better memory.

Thanks so much for the list-add, Richard @rlpastore.bsky.social 😊

oh no i fell down and ate a pound of cheese

Roll The Great Pumpkin on Top of Me, Charlie Brown

Never again I tell myself, as I proceed to do it again

if you doomscroll up from the bottom rather than down from the top, does everything gradually get better?

DINNER CAN WAIT, PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR ME TO SEND THEM WORDS ONLINE MOM

A lesson our scout troop would learn the hard way: coyotes love s'mores.

I am posting to show I am not a Russian bot farm account.

A woman returned my lost work identification card and swooned over my photo. I said she didn't love me, just the ID of me.

Why do we call it “gaining weight” and not “restoring to Cheesecake Factory settings”

Let's keep this magic going..disappears.

*picks up a black chunk on the rug as she goes to bed* "Wow, I'm super glad I touched whatever that is." I don't know why I was sure it was a raisin. Like, why would a raisin be there?

captain’s log: should our luck run out, i’d like to say that the shitposters of bluesky acted with distinction and valor

They use hashtags in their posts, you don't need that in your life

This angry woman slamming her coat in the car door gets it.