is there a Mr. Forest for the Trees?

Who decided to call it a “one night stand” and not a “stranger with benefits”

Anxiety is so stupid like what do you mean my brain can’t tell the difference between ordering food and being eaten by a shark

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

EIGHT is Enough? In this economy?

Forrest Plump@nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 4d ago

SEVEN minutes of heaven? In this economy?

Mother: Timmy wants candy for his birthday Father: [high on acid] Let's blindfold him and make him smash a paper donkey with a stick

Ovulating so hard that I’m giving a guy with a J name a chance

As long as women continue to fake their orgasms, the patriarchy will never die.

SEVEN minutes of heaven? In this economy?

Chris DeLeon Ⓥ make your own games@chrisdeleon.bsky.social · 4d ago

SIX degrees of Kevin Bacon? In this economy?

Happy Friday, you guys. Who else is already hibernating in their bed and doesn’t plan on moving for at least 18 hours?

I’d be bent over a headstone already myself

The guy I’m talking to just told me one of the Twilight Zone actors is buried 20 mins from my house and now we’re going this weekend to visit the grave. I should propose there, shouldn’t I?

If you see this, post a picture from wherever device you’re using without explanation

gene rayburn@generayburn.com · 7d ago

If you see this post a picture from whatever device you’re using without explanation

I could just cry. Look at my baby niece! She looks so much like me in this photo and she’s a scruncher 🖤

It should be legal to punch one client a day if you work in the medical field

Prescription-strength puppy breath

Damn girl, are you a director? Because you're making a scene.

[watching Silence of the Lambs with my gf] I would never treat you that way

☠️

she’s a 10 but she’d rather starve herself than pick a restaurant to eat at

I’ll be your little ho (ho ho)

Spider-President Warren G. Harding@popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 2w ago

HIM: *double texts me* ME: *becomes pregnant*

Getting stoned, painting rocks, and then watching “Obsession” for girls’ night is self care

I live in a workshop, let’s fuck

Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️@steamymac.bsky.social · 4w ago

I live in my car, are you horny?

I live in my car, are you horny?

he’s a 10 but he can’t reach the top shelf either

Her: i'd really like to see you again Me: alive or...?

Fuck you, my heart will go on ~ Rage Against The Celine

Girl, are you a Waffle House? Because when I see you I know there's about to be a fight.

I cant believe its been a year since hulk hogan stopped saying the n word good for him