barnes and noble criterion sale haul. tried to keep it reasonable
EBERT: "the odyssey", folks, you OUGHTA SEE it SISKEL: wait. roger are we in hell EBERT: oh christ. oh fuck. how many thumbs do you have SISKEL: SO FUCKING MANY LIKE ALL OF THEM
there is another world where you are a notorious judge on a hit show called "the worlds most delicious dip". you are the one who always says the dip or salsa needs to be spicier and they have shirts with you on it saying that
We gotta imprison each of these shithead AI ceo's in a different data center like the minotaur
RIP Mark Rothko. You would have loved how the hydrogen peroxide bleach is only turning the Reflecting Pool blue around the perimeter
I think it's cool to have a trillionaire because if we ever really need money it's all in one place, and the only thing in the way of it is one douchebag everyone hates
me: changes the light fixtures in my house to energy efficient LED lightbulbs Jeff Bezos:
1. the thing 2. halloween 3. eacape from new york 4. they live 5. vampires
Taylor@monkeytailor.bsky.social · 3mo agoTop 5 John Carpenter films...GO!
FRIEND 1: I think Hell is just being cut off from the light of God FRIEND 2: I think it’s probably reliving the worst moments of your life over and over ME, JUST RETURNED TO EARTH AFTER ACCIDENTALLY BEING SENT TO THE SPECIAL HELL FOR BOSTON TERRIERS: You guys aren’t gonna believe this
sandman mysterio vulture electro kraven the hunter dr. octopus
madeline odent@oldenoughtosay.com · 3mo agowhat are the Six Genders? wrong answers only
*sam elliott voice* sometimes, you wag the dog. but sometimes, the dog wags you
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3mo agoCOLLINS: What about Trump's promise in 2024 that if he was reelected, gas would be under $2 a gallon? JIM JORDAN: Well, gas prices were coming down until we had to deal with this situation. But that's life.
*holding office in an administration under serious scrutiny for sex crimes against children* teenager sperm is mid
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3mo agoRFK Jr: "In 1970, men had twice the sperm count as our teenagers do today"
holy shit man @theonion.com just does not fuck around. Thanks @bencollins.bsky.social for the gift i get in the mail, it always makes my day
this is just me but if i kept getting shot at because i suck and do a bad job being in charge of things i would go home and stay there
I'm crying, this is so funny, he has absolutely no idea.
social media was a wonderful brain toilet for every random half thought you didn't want to bother real people with before they decided to move all of society and infrastructure and government inside of the toilet
you know what movie is good? citizen kane. i am proud to be the first person to ever say this. i just love the part where he rosebuds
mcdonald's manager: show the new guy the ropes me: yeah no prob *opens drawer* we use them to restrain grimace
man if they used that sauce that way, you must have fucked up
i have some cool dvds. it's my hobby and it's the only thing i spend disposable income on. this is the fucking coolest one i've ever bought and it's not close
[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop] Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
Where the grass is [redacted] and the girls are [redacted].
I'm sorry, but this woman posting photos of her dog at a religious event in Spain and then having to frantically clarify a few days later at their "supersausage_charlie" Instagram account is something out of a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.
You have more in common with the people of Iran than you do with anyone in this administration, any member of the technocracy, anyone who is profiting from this war, or any billionaire. When you see Iranians forming human chains outside key infrastructure sites, you should feel a sense of kinship.
I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine
NASA just dropped this image of Artemis II astronaut Christina Koch looking back at us. The first woman to ever see our planet in its entirety. I’m not crying you’re crying 🥹🔭🧪 📸: NASA
