I credit several things, all related to my teachers for being a competent writer. 1. Spelling tests, which included using the word in a sentence till the 8th grade. 2. English teacher who made us write a 10 page research paper in the 10th grade - By hand, note cards, footnotes, and cursive.

Seen in the wild today

My father would make squirrel noises to entertain my oldest child as a toddler. My wife asked about why he was so good at it. He told her "I was given to .22 bullets and told to bring home 2 squirrels for dinner as a child " She asked him "what if you missed?" Dad: "I didn't go home."

I really hate people. Just got called on the carpet by the CEO for something I "Told" a customer on the phone. 1. Talked to them yes. 2. Told them a blatant lie, no. 3. They lied to pressure their distributor into selling them something that is out of stock. I will shit in their next shipment

Ok Net Nerds, lend me your ears.. A long time ago, in a different life, I blogged. Daily. I had a nice following. Might be time to do it again, but won't use Substack. Any FREE alternatives other than Blogger or Substack?

The oldest hatchling has requested a brisket for her Birthday meal. She turns 21 and it looks like I will be manning the smoker all night on a work night Talk about Adulting

You know what got me hooked on BlueSky? Christopher Moore John Scalzi And awesome Fungi pics

Just spent 10 minutes looking for my USB drive I keep clipped to my car keys. Guess where it was???? On my key chain

Republican political theory: everyone to the left of hunting the poor for sport is a communist.

Carlos Correa has been cleared to resume swinging a bat in his attempt to return this season, manager Joe Espada said. Correa will start with dry swings and progress from there.

Give a man two wolves and he'll reskeet format jokes, teach a man about two wolves and he'll probably skeet something about buttholes and cilantro

The Walnut enjoyer has logged on #sqrlpix (sound on for full effect)

Vicks is just spicy vaseline

time to get up, malcontents.. we got waffles to waffle #bb28

Spencer Arrighetti: "Obviously this move is something that they think will help them win. There's some joy in that, too. I was a fan of the Houston Astros before they drafted me and I'll continue to be a fan after the fact. This stadium is where I fell in love with baseball."

SpaceX stock dropped another 12% yesterday after AI spending rattled investors. For every $1 of revenue (not profit, income) they're burning $2 of cash. One analyst described it as, "Rockets burn fuel. SpaceX burns money."

Republicans call Democrats communists the way toddlers call every vegetable broccoli.

Did someone say fishing🤔🐸

Animated Frog Going Fishing

ALT: Animated Frog Going Fishing

static.klipy.com

Sassy0210@sassy0210.bsky.social · 7h ago

The cameras really shouldn't have been out that time of night. What were they wearing? 💀

Ken Paxton failed to disclose he secretly purchased real estate worth millions of dollars in Hawaii, Florida, and Utah. Experts say this is a direct violation of Texas state ethics rules.

This one was better than my line so I'm sharing. Had to screenshot.

Christopher Moore@theauthorguy.bsky.social · 22h ago

SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! DRYEST EVER MOTHERFUDGING SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!

Receiving a dick pic from a guy is like your cat bringing you a dead mouse. I can see you're proud, but I'm not touching it.

Texans, including former State Rep. Lon Burnam, were arrested for defending our voting rights. Tarrant County leaders tried to slash 𝟭𝟰𝟬 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆. That’s nearly HALF of the election day polling locations! Texans showed up, fought back, and forced them to back down—for now.

Support the Texas Democratic Party

Join me in supporting the Texas Democratic Party in their mission to organize our movement across Texas!

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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. When your SpaceX rocket hits the moon like a big piece of junk and you don't give a shit, you're a moron.

I hate the Yankees because they are arrogant whiny pricks who feel like they are "owed" championships. I hate the dodgers because they are whiny pricks who want to be the Yankees. I hate the Mariners because Scott Servais was a human toe in a managers uniform

Found a band aid in my elbow. Completely forgot that I put that on Monday

Wednesday is usually a good day because it's my Thursday. unfortunately Wednesday has chosen violence and I am going to oblige it

The more I watch the stampede to build data centers, the more I think about the original dot-com bust. A lot of similarities but on a much larger scale.

If you know what SPS Commerce is, then you know the shit storm of angry that has inhabited my soul this morning

Dealing with Big Box Retailers is a huge pain. They have automated/online systems that work just fine, till THEY fuck something up. Then you are left with one hand full of shit and one hand with a bill for the shit that they took in your other hand.

If you poop your pants on the drive to work, but no one smells it, did you really poop your pants?